These days people succeed in their chosen profession because they are good communicators and not just experts in a particular field". Discuss the reasons and why this is the case. Give reasons to your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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Elders see that life in the past was better than now regardless of the technological
advancment
Correct your spelling
advancement
we are in
today
.
Since many
Correct word choice
Many
show examples
people
find it helpful to use technology
although
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
kids
today
spend most of their
day
on these devices because of how addicting it can be. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that having electronic devices at an early age may or will damage the kid's
brains
Fix the agreement mistake
brain
show examples
. In
this
essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
hold
this
point of view.
SInce
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Since
show examples
the release of the
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
, the number of iPad users has increased
day
by
day
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
an alarming rate because of the significant difference between adult's and kid's leisure
time
. So that brings up maybe why older
people
could find their
time
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the past much more joyful than
today
's
time
knowing that life now is much
comfortableconfortable
Correct word choice
more comfortable
show examples
than their
time
. factors and happiness like comfort can impact their opinion on why they may choose to travel in
time
to the past. Some would approach the idea in a different way and would choose to live in the past but have
today
's
comfortes
Correct your spelling
comforts
comforters
comfort
like
wifewifie
Correct your spelling
wife wife
wife wifie
however
people
would not utilize it as much as they do
today
.For me,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would promote choosing
this
lifestyle as we will experience only the positives of the past and present .When
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
contemplate
this
subject
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
found out that living in the past could bring happy times living in the
futer
Correct your spelling
future
may be more comfortable but nothing would be better than quality
time
we spend with our loved ones even though wereas fun
time
alone wouldnt feel the same . In brief old
people
may find the
time
they spent when they were children more joyful since they spend
time
with friends rather than staying at home all
day
with no one but
Correct article usage
the theflates
show examples
theflates
Correct your spelling
deflates
screens we provide .
This
may be true but a
cotaile
Correct your spelling
cocktail
notable
between our
time
and their
time
would be better. Because not everything for them was perfect and neither us.
Submitted by turki.rais on

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coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and redundancy. Be concise and to the point.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work to avoid grammatical and spelling errors.
task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This helps illustrate your points clearly.
task achievement
The essay topic is relevant and the writer addresses the main question.
task achievement
The essay includes a clear opinion and provides reasons for the perspective.
coherence cohesion
The use of personal experiences and reflections adds a unique touch to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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