In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? ive reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own nowledge or experience.

It is argued among others , the way we
encourge
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encourage
our children . there are different aspects regarding
this
subject ,
however
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however,
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in
this
essay, we will discuss the advantages and disadvantages
in
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on
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various levels , whether from a parent's point of view or the child itself .
Overall
, having a deep understanding
on
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of
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how our words can affect our children both
postively
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positively
and negatively , will impact
on
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apply
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what we choose to say to them .
Firstly
, The main advantage
for
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of
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emotionlly nurturing the younger
one's
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one is
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that, will
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,
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apply
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will
encourge
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encourage
them to have
the
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apply
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confidence and
beileves
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belief
in their ability to achieve any task they
initially
encountered
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encounter
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.
also
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also,
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they get to have the chance to be creative and to understand how the world works by trying new things ,
therefore
it will not only benefit them in the short-term but
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apply
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it
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apply
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will
also
motivates
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motivate
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them in the long run
.there
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There
was a study that preserved some
chlidren
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children
on how their
behaivor
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behaviour
differ significantly from the ones who hadn't had the fortune to be
encourged
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encouraged
by their mother , as expected the kids who grew up in a healthy
enviroment
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environment
were more creative with a wider imagination comparing with the other children . In terms of the negative aspect , constantly telling a child that they can achieve anything might not have the result
as
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apply
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the parents want , but how ?
well
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Well
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, they might have a nonrealistic high expectation , which would most likely lead them to
false
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the false
a false
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hope that could
generates
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generate
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low self-esteem . In conclusion , we have to keep a balance between our motivational
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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and the real world's
prespective
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perspective
, because in reality , no matter how hard someone works it is not always possible to do everything .
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas. Ensure each paragraph logically follows the last and that there is a clear link between ideas.
task achievement
Ensure all ideas are clearly and fully developed. Some ideas are present but not explained in depth.
task achievement
Use more varied and specific examples to back up your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
You have introduced and concluded your essay effectively, which provides a sense of completeness.
task achievement
You have included both advantages and disadvantages, ensuring a balanced perspective on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • resilience
  • self-belief
  • confidence
  • unrealistic expectations
  • talent
  • opportunity
  • pressure
  • stress
  • failure
  • inadequacy
  • collaborate
  • adaptable
  • motivates
  • setbacks
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