Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In today's era, Everyone needs to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
socialise to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life complete and blissful. To follow
this
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
idea, people are searching for different different sources.
Such
as some
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
indulge in sports and try
some another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
curricular activities.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
, some masses believe that it is better to invest a little quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
co-workers where
as
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
others want to uphold professional
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
workplace
Add an article
a workplace
the workplace
show examples
. Let's discuss both the pros and cons of the aforementioned statement. On the light side, getting
familiarise
Wrong verb form
familiarised
show examples
with the teammates makes the job easier.
For instance
, it
release
Change the verb form
releases
show examples
stress,
burden
Correct word choice
and burden
show examples
and
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
a sensation of happiness.
However
, in order to remain tranquil, an individual needs to spend
time
with fellow workers after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
duty or during weekends.
Furthermore
,
this
assist
Change the verb form
assists
show examples
teammates
to get
Change preposition
in getting
show examples
the golden opportunity to
create networking
Wrong verb form
network
show examples
with their seniors
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and boost their knowledge and tactics to work well. What is more, during the weekends, colleagues can go for dinner or bash so that they can feel like
a true peers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a true peer
true peers
show examples
. On the dark side, Meeting
co-worker
Fix the agreement mistake
co-workers
show examples
in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
spare
time
can build up clashes among others out of jealousy or with the intention of getting promoted or awarded.
Consequently
, a bit of personnel might feel the sensation of discrimination which ultimately
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to
disintegration
Add an article
the disintegration
a disintegration
show examples
of the crew and
further
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
the organisational goals. To exemplify, hanging out with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coworkers can create
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
bitching, and
further
Add a comma
further,
show examples
create breaks among besties.
To sum up
, there are both advantages and disadvantages of being
socialise
Wrong verb form
socialised
show examples
. In my opinion, we should always know about our limits so that nobody can
grab
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefit from us.
Also
, one should be gregarious and
spass
Correct your spelling
spend
time
with colleagues but to an extent.
Submitted by komalverma271999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay could benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader about your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that topic sentences clearly state the main idea of each paragraph and are connected seamlessly to your supporting points.
coherence cohesion
Avoid redundancy by using a more concise language; for instance, saying 'This helps' instead of 'This assist teammates to get'.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific and varied examples to support your points; this lends credibility and depth to your arguments.
task achievement
Be careful with spelling and grammatical errors such as 'it release stress' should be 'it releases stress', and 'a bit of personnel might feel' should be 'a bit of personnel might feel a sense...'.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives, which is essential for a good task response.
task achievement
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by mentioning the importance of socializing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay concludes with a clear summary of your opinion, providing closure and a final reflection on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cohesive work environment
  • work-life balance
  • renewed focus
  • interpersonal relationships
  • professional boundaries
  • fostering
  • blur the lines
  • burnout
  • networking opportunities
  • informal mentorships
  • career advancement
  • workplace dynamics
  • personal well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: