Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today's era, Everyone needs to socialise to make
the
life complete and blissful. To follow Correct article usage
apply
this
above-mentioned idea, people are searching for different different sources. Such
as some get
indulge in sports and try Verb problem
apply
some another
curricular activities. Fix the agreement mistake
other
Moreover
, some masses believe that it is better to invest a little quality of
Change preposition
apply
time
with co-workers whereas
others want to uphold professional relationship
at Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
workplace
. Let's discuss both the pros and cons of the aforementioned statement.
On the light side, getting Correct article usage
the workplace
familiarise
with teammates Wrong verb form
familiarised
make
the job easier. Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
For instance
, it releases stress, burden
and Correct word choice
and burden
provide
a sensation of happiness. Change the verb form
provides
However
, in order to remain tranquil, an individual needs to spend time
with fellow workers after the
duty or during weekends. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, this
assists teammates to get
the golden opportunity to Change preposition
in getting
create networking
with their seniorsWrong verb form
network
,
and boost their knowledge and tactics to work well. What is more, during the weekends, colleagues can go for dinner or bash so that they can feel like a true peer.
On the dark side, Meeting co-workers in Remove the comma
apply
Correct pronoun usage
your
the
spare Change the word
your
time
can build up clashes among others out of jealousy or with the intention of getting promoted or awarded. Consequently
, a bit of personnels
might feel the sensation of discrimination which ultimately can lead to Correct your spelling
personnel
disintegration
of the crew and Add an article
the disintegration
a disintegration
further
effect
the organisational goals. To exemplify, hanging out with Correct your spelling
affect
the
coworkers can create backbiting, and Correct article usage
apply
further
create breaks among besties.
To sum up
, there are both advantages and disadvantages of being socialise
. In my opinion, we should always know about our limits so that nobody can Wrong verb form
socialised
grab
benefit from us. Verb problem
apply
Also
, one should be gregarious and pass time
with colleagues but only to an extent.Submitted by komalverma271999 on
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task achievement
The essay slightly deviates from the topic at certain points. Try to stay focused on whether or not it's a good idea to socialize with work colleagues. This would ensure a higher relevance of examples.
task achievement
Your introduction is comprehensive but could be clearer in stating which side you favor. This would strengthen your task response.
task achievement
Use more specific examples that relate closely to the topic. This can help your argument appear more concrete and grounded in real-life scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical transitions between ideas to make the essay flow more smoothly. For instance, you could use linking words and phrases more effectively throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and supports it fully before moving on to the next point. This will improve coherence.
task achievement
Some of your points could be better supported. For instance, instead of using general terms like 'some get indulge in sports,' provide more specific examples or data to backs your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and set up the discussion nicely.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the issue, offering a balanced view. This shows thorough engagement with the task.
task achievement
Some main points are well-supported, particularly about the benefits of socializing with colleagues, which makes your argument stronger.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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