IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that humanitarian subjects such as philosophy, history and literature that people study in universities have no value for their future career. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and relevant examples.

#people #subjects #philosophy #history #literature #study #universities #value #future #career
Every year, many volunteers attend universities to study humanitarian
fields
 like
history
 and philosophy. Some
people
 argue that getting a degree in
such
fields
 could not benefit
future
 careers. I agree to some extent with
this
 notion.
While
 there are a lot of benefits to studying these
subjects
, in some cases, it may not be helpful for
people
’s occupations in the
future
. On the one hand, some of these
subjects
 play a vital role in many careers;
for example
, it is a must for politicians to read
history
 and have a strong knowledge of other countries' cultures and essential incidents.
Also
, in some aspects of our lives, we need the help of these
people
;
for instance
, philosophers' roles can be imperative in social dilemmas, or their opinions sometimes could be practical in many medical
fields
. Another example worth mentioning here is the preservation of national cultures; we cannot ignore the critical role of literates in the conservation of countries' poets, traditional ceremonies, and ancient myths.
On the other hand
, sometimes, in some places, it is not very useful to study humanitarian
subjects
, especially in developing countries. Some
people
 devote decades to a philosophical topic, but they can barely make ends meet.
Although
 I believe some
fields
 like
history
 benefit politicians, there are many university students who study
history
; there are not enough job positions for them in the
future
.
Finally
,
people
 face many problems during their daily routines in the contemporary world; in my opinion, taking steps toward addressing these issues should be a priority. In conclusion, I partially agree with the notion that some humanitarian
subjects
 have little to no value for
people
’s
future
 careers in some parts of the world.
Submitted by amir1375.6 on

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clear comprehensive ideas
To further improve the clarity and comprehensibility of your ideas, try to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and develops it fully before moving to the next one. For example, consider a more explicit structure where each paragraph thoroughly explores a single aspect of why humanitarian subjects may or may not be useful for future careers.
relevant specific examples
While your essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides examples, avoid generalizations and unsupported claims. Instead, use more specific examples and evidence to back up your points, as this will make your argument more compelling.
complete response
Your essay provides a well-balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize your main points. This contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster critical thinking
  • analytical skills
  • human nature
  • crucial in fields
  • cross-cultural competence
  • communication skills
  • superior writing and speaking abilities
  • cultural consultancy
  • historical knowledge
  • cultural awareness
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