IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are advised to spend about 20 minutes on this task. The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. » You should The percentage of household energy use in Australia: Percentage of household energy use in Australia

You are advised to spend about 20 minutes on this task. The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. » You should The percentage of household energy use in Australia: Percentage of household energy use in Australia
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In the modern world, most
appliances
Use synonyms
 have switched from the mechanical and
analog
Change the spelling
analogue
show examples
 system to the current system which uses modern technology, including
appliances
Use synonyms
 in the average Australian
household
Use synonyms
. These systems require electricity as their main
energy
Use synonyms
 source to power up in the first place.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie chart, most "other"
appliances
Use synonyms
 in the average Australian
household
Use synonyms
 use
energy
Use synonyms
 like electricity, about 24%.
In addition
Linking Words
,
appliances
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as heating and cooling devices, water heating, refrigeration, and much more use the remaining 76% of the
energy
Use synonyms
 in
household
Use synonyms
, including 20% for heating and cooling and 23% for water heating.
Although
Linking Words
 other
appliances
Use synonyms
 take 24% of the
household
Use synonyms
's
energy
Use synonyms
, they only emit 16% of the greenhouse gas produced in Australia. Compared to heating and cooling's 38%,
this
Linking Words
 is small.
This
Linking Words
 may be caused by how
appliances
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as heating and cooling, and water heating, in their current stage, are still inefficient when using
energy
Use synonyms
, emitting a lot of excess
energy
Use synonyms
 not used to do the appliance's task and converted to greenhouse gas.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words appliances, household, energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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