To improve children’s lives, mothers and fathers should attend parenting and child development courses every year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The effect of
parents
in fostering children
is undeniable and also
, Correct word choice
and they
they
Correct word choice
and they
play
a significant role in Rephrase
also play
children
’s lives. It is argued that parents
should be educated parenting
Change preposition
on parenting
skills
annually to perform better in stretching good lives for children
. This
essay will express my positive orientation towards this
opinion and support it by
rational reasons.
It is universally acknowledged that educating minors is one of the most significant factors Change preposition
with
in
not onlyChange preposition
apply
a
family scale but Change preposition
on a
also
society
scale. I believe that parenting is a type of skill which should be learnt by Replace the word
societal
parents
the same as learning other skills
. For example
, one of the requirements of driving a car is having license
and passing the driving Correct article usage
a license
courses
. Therefore
, the
parenting requires Correct article usage
apply
to be
exposure of educating these Verb problem
apply
skills
and it is not as much
simple as Correct quantifier usage
apply
what
it looks. Educating minors has been demonstrated the most sensitive and complex task that any individual cannot be in charge of it because it is directly associated with offspring’s future lives mentally and physically.
Different new generations’ tendencies are the second vital reason. The new generations have some wishes and desires which is remarkably different, in comparison with Correct pronoun usage
apply
parents
’ ones . As a result
, comprehending these would be probably tough for old
generations. Fix the agreement mistake
older
Therefore
, these courses
could pave the path of
understanding their feeling and update them annually. Change preposition
to
Consequently
, taking these courses
could give a wide perspective to parents
about minors’ feeling
and they would recognize that they do not have the only problematic Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
children
. For example
, curbing children
in
having Change preposition
from
tattoo
is a major argument between Fix the agreement mistake
tattoos
parents
and children
, taking
these Correct word choice
and taking
courses
gives opportunities to see other parents
that
have the same problem.
In conclusion, learning parental Correct pronoun usage
who
skills
is a crucial issue, which requires to be learnt by various courses
. The right parental skills
could flourish the minors and improve the relation
between Replace the word
relationship
parents
and offspring.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
Although the essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, it could be improved by addressing counterarguments or considering different perspectives. This would strengthen the overall argument.
task achievement
Ensure all main points are fully developed with relevant and specific examples. Some examples in the essay, like the comparison to driving, were relevant but needed more connection to the main argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has good logical flow, but the transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the shift from talking about the complexity of parenting skills to discussing new generations' tendencies was a bit abrupt.
coherence cohesion
Work on avoiding repetition of points in different words. For example, the points about understanding minors' feelings and problematic behavior could be combined to avoid redundancy.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is strong and sets a clear stance on the issue, which is maintained throughout the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the position taken in the introduction.
logical structure
The use of expressions such as 'universally acknowledged,' 'pave the path,' and 'curbing' demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and understanding of idiomatic expressions.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay provides a good range of coherent ideas that are well-connected to the main topic, showing a deep understanding of the issue.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite