Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child development. However, others argue that other things like Television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many people believe that
parents
play an important role
in the growth of their children
, while
others argue that Television and their peers play a vital role
in the growth of teenagers’ development. This
topic will discuss both views and provide my opinion at the end
of the passage.
On the one hand, classmates play a crucial role
with their mates, while
at school and outside the school. They share assignments and do group discussions on different topics such
as study-related as well as
daily life issues. In discussions, they share information and remove any weaknesses they have in their lives. Another reason is that digital television is true nowadays teenagers watch digital programs on the screens and get the best knowledge such
as discovery channels and science topics, which make them comfortable with their skills. In addition
, due to
readily available digital platforms, students solve their study-related problems on screens and get good marks in their exams. As a result
, online classes help them for development in the future
.
On the other hand
, parents
, who are the first teachers of their children
always teach better than others. Guardians practically teach their children
and show them what is good and bad for them, so they can become more successful in the future
. Moreover
, a child spend more time with their families as compared to school and friends, so they get opportunities to learn from their family members such
as elder brothers, sisters, and parents
. In addition
, parents
sometimes take their children
to events and teach them, how to behave in society, so in the future
they can play an important role
in public well-being.
In conclusion, following the analysis, it is clear that
parents
are the most helper, who mould their children
in such
a way and teach them how to communicate with other people and relatives. We cannot ignore Television and their friends because they can speak and discuss some personal issues with them, which is not possible to discuss with their guardians. In my opinion, parents
play the most important role
in the betterment of their teenagers’ and teach them the right things which make them successful in their future
.Submitted by rbtech65 on
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task achievement
Your essay covers both views and clearly states your opinion, which is good. However, the examples provided could be more specific and detailed to better support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To improve, try to ensure that each paragraph follows a clear structure: introduce the main idea, provide supporting points, and then give examples or further explanation.
introduction conclusion present
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion which helps frame your essay well.
complete response
You have addressed both viewpoints and provided your own opinion, which is essential for a task 2 essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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