Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #lives #celebrities #media

A famous

Correct article usage

Famous

show examples

people’s individual

lives

are now

Correct your spelling

one

show examples

of the most controversial

issus

Correct your spelling

issues

issue

that people like to debate. A significant of online platforms entice

general

Correct article usage

the general

show examples

public into

pop-stars

Correct your spelling

pop stars

show examples

lives

with

nemurous

Correct your spelling

numerous

obession

Correct your spelling

obsession

and not respected

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. From

writer’s

Correct article usage

the writer’s

show examples

perspective, we should respect and protect their personal

lives

from being exposed to

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

by sharing numerous pictures and articles on online media platforms. Influencers’ non-public moments are often exposed

from

Change preposition

show examples

paparzzi

Correct your spelling

paparazzi

or journalists on social network services(SNS).

However

, some famous people share their personal

lives

on their social media

plaforms

Correct your spelling

platforms

such

as Instagram,

Facebooks

Fix the agreement mistake

Facebook

show examples

and YouTube themselves.

Sometime

Replace the word

Sometimes

show examples

, these platforms are used as a communication tool with fans. By sharing so, they can build a strong relationship with each

oher

Correct your spelling

other

between celebrities and supporters.

For instance

R.M

Correct your spelling

R.M.

of BTS (a K-POP group) usually does livestream on

instagram

Change the capitalization

Instagram

show examples

, and he

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

a daily conversation with his followers.

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

show examples

he promoted his new album and schedules.

However

, extensive

exposures

Fix the agreement mistake

exposure

show examples

from journalists,

paprazzi

Correct your spelling

paparazzi

even from

YouTuber

Fix the agreement mistake

YouTubers

show examples

lead to

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

influence on famous people’s mental health. They often write exaggerated articles and photograph their

daiy

Correct your spelling

daily

day

moments indiscriminately with any

confirm

Replace the word

confirmation

show examples

to get to public’s attention.

As a result

, they often came into conflict with pop stars and journalists over excessive exposure of their

lives

without agreement.

For example

, G-dragon ,who is

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one of the most popular

singer

Change to a plural noun

singers

show examples

in South Korea, developed depression from numerous

genral

Correct your spelling

general

public interest. He can’t walk around freely when his ordinary life even

Change preposition

apply

show examples

abroad as well.

These excessive attention

Change the determiner

This excessive attention

show examples

allow

Correct subject-verb agreement

allows

show examples

him to cause mental health

issus

Correct your spelling

issues

over and over. In conclusion, famous individuals need to accept some level of exposure and interest,

on the other hand

, a lot of

disturbrance

Correct your spelling

disturbance

disturbances

harms their

metal

Correct your spelling

mental

show examples

health.

Submitted by dksrlgus1017 on Tue Jun 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and the ideas within it flow logically from one to the next. For example, use more linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas.

task achievement

Some ideas are underdeveloped or unclear. Provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your main points. Also, make sure to stay on topic throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a clear beginning and end.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task and gives a clear opinion on whether celebrities' private lives should be exposed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Invasion of privacy
Media scrutiny
Public persona
Personal autonomy
Sensationalism
Paparazzi
Tabloid journalism
Right to privacy
Mental well-being
Public interest
Ethical journalism
Celebrity culture
Gossip columns

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Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

In the age of digital communication and social media, face-to-face interactions are becoming less common. Some people think that this is decreasing people’s ability to communicate well in person. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

106.Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Write a letter to a teacher asking for a reference letter for a job and explain: Why you have chosen him to write the reference letter What kind of job you are applying for Why you think you are suitable for this job You should write at least 150 words.