Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. #people #situation #job
Regard
to having bad situations Change preposition
With regard
such
as unsatisfied occupation or low income, there are two points of view: Linking Words
while
some believe it is better to adjust yourself Linking Words
with
any situation, some others prefer to endeavor for development. Change preposition
to
This
essay agrees that not only adaptation is not always for the benefit of Linking Words
person
, but Add an article
a person
the person
also
it causes regression and lack of progress. The details about the mentioned issue will be discussed in the following paragraph.
In general, the degree of acceptance of horrible conditions Linking Words
such
as a heavy workload or full-time jobs with poor perks is Linking Words
deifferent
in people. Adapting ourselves to Correct your spelling
different
a bad phases
will definitely have no consequence other than regret and depression in the long run. Correct the article-noun agreement
a bad phase
bad phases
In
Linking Words
addition
accepting tough positions does not impose any obligation on capitalists and employers to improve employee job benefits and in a faulty cycle, it worsens the work footing. Add a comma
addition,
For example
, in 2018 it was reported in International news that almost 60% of people with dead-end jobs were afflicted with depression and seclusion.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, striving for better conditions not only restores the sense of life in a personLinking Words
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
keeps the hope of progress abiding. Linking Words
Therefore
, Linking Words
motivation
Correct pronoun usage
their motivation
his motivation
her motivation
to
promotion gradually increases and he faces everyday matters with a more open mind. So it will not suffer from routineness and recession. Change preposition
for
Also
regarding career and financial issues, it leads to greater satisfaction and work/life balance. Linking Words
For instance
, many Linking Words
reachs
claim that they were in a hard position in the past and they prefer to Correct your spelling
reaches
had
fought for a Change the verb
have
high quality
life.
Add a hyphen
high-quality
To conclude
, Linking Words
this
essay Linking Words
support
the idea that the more contests you do, the more Change the verb form
supports
tranquility
you gain. Change the spelling
tranquillity
Linking Words
Also
it recommended that choose to strive for advancement rather than stagnation and acceptance.Add a comma
Also,
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task achievement
Clarify your points more effectively by elaborating on your ideas further. For instance, expand on why people believe adapting to bad situations can lead to regression.
task achievement
Use diverse vocabulary and expressions to enhance your essay's readability and make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly presents a single main idea. The introduction does this well, but the body paragraphs could be more focused.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your sentences by using cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, however, consequently) more consistently.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a coherent and cohesive piece.
task achievement
Both sides of the argument are discussed, showing that you understood the task requirements well.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?