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There are parents who want to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school in some countries. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

#parents #children #home #school #countries
Every
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
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want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to keep safe their children from different dangers like bullying, peer pressure ETC
that is
 why some
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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parents
 choose HOMESCHOOLING.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 any educational approach, traditional schooling or homeschooling comes with its own set of advantages and disadvantages. I don’t see that there are many pros in
homeshooling
Correct your spelling
homeschooling
.
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
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 there are some of them. One of the biggest benefits of homeschooling is
a
Remove the article
apply
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customized learning
Also
parents
 are not bound by the rigid schedules of traditional schools, allowing them to create a timetable that best suits their needs.
Moreover
, homeschooling can provide a safe learning environment, free from the bullying and peer pressure often encountered in traditional schools.
This
 can create a more nurturing and supportive atmosphere, which is particularly beneficial for children who may struggle with these social challenges. Despite its benefits, homeschooling has notable I can say thousands of disadvantages – isolation,
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
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 to work in
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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, participation in team sports, clubs, extracurricular activities,
chatting
Correct word choice
and chatting
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 with classmates
be
Wrong verb form
are
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 limited, affecting the child’s social development and exposure to diverse perspectives. (I copied it from
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 ). It is
also
 a real
burdento
Correct your spelling
burden to
burden
parents
Change the noun form
parent
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. In conclusion, homeschooling offers a unique and customizable education experience that can be highly beneficial for some families and children who have difficulty going to school or have a mental disorder etc.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a brief overview of the topic, but it lacks depth and detailed discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling. To improve, provide more specific examples and in-depth analysis to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay better. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your points are logically linked. Consider following a clear structure such as introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Avoid using informal phrases like 'I copied it from internet.' Such statements can reduce the professionalism of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a conclusion, which provides a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
You've made an effort to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling, which is crucial for a balanced argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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