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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #years #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart above shows the various paths taken by anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 after finishing their courses. Underneath is a table showing data regarding the distribution of payment these
graduates
Use synonyms
 received after a few years of
work
Use synonyms
.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of the students, made up more than 50% of the consensus,
work
Use synonyms
 full-time after their degree ended. The next consideration
graduates
Use synonyms
 often make is doing
a part-time
Remove the article
part-time work
a part-time job
show examples
work
Use synonyms
, followed closely by those who do not
work
Use synonyms
 or still looking for a job.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 possibility is working alongside pursuing a higher degree.
In addition
Linking Words
 to these, students who
ended
Wrong verb form
end
show examples
 up working for more than 5 years have a higher chance to accumulate salaries as high as $100,000 or more, especially for those working in the public sector.
This
Linking Words
 probability is almost mirrored for those working independently.
However
Linking Words
, it sees a 20% decrease for
graduates
Use synonyms
 working in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private companies, as they
paid
Add a missing verb
are paid
show examples
 mostly at the medium end of $50-75,000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data suggests that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
graduates
Use synonyms
 from the
department
Capitalize word
Department
show examples
 of
anthropology
Capitalize word
Anthropology
show examples
 choose to
follow
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
 their degree
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 working full-time, with those who
work
Use synonyms
 longer than 5 years having
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 chances of receiving higher wages.
Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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