The only way to reduce drug abuse is to legalise the substance and bring them under control. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

#drug #abuse #legalise #substance #control

Drug

abuse is becoming

the

Correct article usage

show examples

serious

problem

in today's world .

It's

Unnecessary verb

show examples

not only

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a bad impact on our health but

also

mental

Correct pronoun usage

our mental

show examples

health . some people believe that there is only one way to decrease

drug

addiction

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

legalize it under law . I

agee

Correct your spelling

agree

show examples

with the given to a great extent . In the following paragraphs ,

Change the capitalization

show examples

will provide the reasons

along with

relevant instances .

Firstly

, the governments can take a prominent step to reduce

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

drug

addiction . To clarify

this

, if authorities allowed

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

drug

consumption

under

law

Correct article usage

the law

show examples

. So, by

this

Add a comma

this,

show examples

they will not only

able

Add a missing verb

be able

show examples

to find the origin of drugs but

also

uncover the prevalent use of drugs in different areas .

For example

, the

consumption

of cannabis in

Netherlands

Correct article usage

the Netherlands

show examples

is now legal . people take it in a less amount

according to

the government restrictions .

Therefore

, if

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

permitted legally

Wrong verb form

permits

show examples

the

drug

substances

, they

Rephrase

legally, they

show examples

can

contol

Correct your spelling

control

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

However

, making the

drug

substane

Correct your spelling

substance

substances

legally available

creating

Wrong verb form

creates

show examples

the

problem

of overdose . To be more precise , in

india

Change the capitalization

India

show examples

the production and

consumption

of Afeem in some areas is legal .

Although

, by

doing import

Wrong verb form

importing

show examples

Change preposition

into

show examples

other countries they are extending their business ,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

also

increment in the

consumption

drug

Fix the agreement mistake

drugs

show examples

in other areas in

excess

Change the article

an excess

show examples

manner as well .

Thus

easily

Rephrase

the easy

show examples

availablity

Correct your spelling

availability

of drugs is giving

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

birth

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

problem

of overusing

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. In conclusion, If the higher authorities

making

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

the

drug

substanes

Correct your spelling

substances

substance

legally available to control it ,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

also

raise

Change the verb form

raises

show examples

the

problem

of over usage it . But, they find the way

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

where the

problem

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

occured

Correct your spelling

occurs

and consider the number of steps to

decreaseit

Correct your spelling

decrease

decrease it

Submitted by sainisonia422 on Tue Jun 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Work on refining grammar and sentence structure, as there are some errors and awkward phrases that affect readability. For example, 'It's not only have a bad impact' should be 'It not only has a bad impact.'

introduction conclusion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearer in presenting your stance and summarizing the main points respectively. For instance, 'I agree with the given to a great extent' can be more effectively phrased as 'I strongly agree with the statement.'

cohesion

Improve coherence by connecting ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader. For example, 'Firstly, the governments' can be better linked with the latter part through phrases such as 'In addition,' or 'Moreover.'

task response

The essay addresses the topic and makes a clear attempt to respond to the task by providing reasons and examples.

examples

The main points are relevant and adequately supported by examples, like the example of cannabis legalization in the Netherlands.

logical structure

There is a logical progression of ideas, and the argument is generally easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Legalization
Regulation
Controlled substances
Black market
Medical support
Psychological support
Tax revenue
Quality control
Social stigma
Addiction rates
Rehabilitation programs

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The only way to reduce drug abuse is to legalise the substance and bring them under control. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, people who commit less serious crimes are made to undertake community service* instead of a prison sentence. Some people believe that all people who have committed a crime should be sent to prison. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society, while others think that education should help people pursue personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. Which approach do you think has more advantages? Are there any disadvantages to children having a school uniform?

Many government spend a lot of money on art. Some people think this investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.