The only way to reduce drug abuse is to legalise the substance and bring them under control. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.
Drug
abuse is becoming the
serious Correct article usage
a
problem
in today's world . It's
not only Unnecessary verb
It
have
a bad impact on our health but Correct subject-verb agreement
has
also
on mental
health . some people believe that there is only one way to decrease Correct pronoun usage
our mental
drug
addiction is
to Unnecessary verb
apply
it
legalize it under law . I Correct pronoun usage
apply
agee
with the given to a great extent . In the following paragraphs , Correct your spelling
agree
i
will provide the reasons Change the capitalization
I
along with
relevant instances .
Firstly
, the governments can take a prominent step to reduce Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
drug
addiction . To clarify this
, if authorities allowed the
Correct article usage
apply
drug
consumption
under law
. So, by Correct article usage
the law
this
they will not only Add a comma
this,
able
to find the origin of drugs but Add a missing verb
be able
also
uncover the prevalent use of drugs in different areas . For example
, the consumption
of cannabis in Netherlands
is now legal . people take it in a less amount Correct article usage
the Netherlands
according to
the government restrictions . Therefore
, if government
Add an article
the government
permitted legally
the Wrong verb form
permits
drug
substances , they
can Rephrase
legally, they
contol
Correct your spelling
control
it
.
Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, making the drug
substane
legally available Correct your spelling
substance
substances
creating
the Wrong verb form
creates
problem
of overdose . To be more precise , in india
the production and Change the capitalization
India
consumption
of Afeem in some areas is legal . Although
, by doing import
it Wrong verb form
importing
in
other countries they are extending their business , Change preposition
into
but
it Remove the conjunction
apply
also
increment in the consumption
of drug
in other areas in Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
excess
manner as well . Change the article
an excess
Thus
, easily
Rephrase
the easy
availablity
of drugs is giving Correct your spelling
availability
the
birth Correct article usage
apply
the
Change preposition
to the
problem
of overusing it
.
In conclusion, If the higher authorities Correct pronoun usage
them
making
the Wrong verb form
make
drug
substanes
legally available to control it ,Correct your spelling
substances
substance
but
it Correct word choice
apply
also
raise
the Change the verb form
raises
problem
of over usage it . But, they find the way form
where the Correct your spelling
from
problem
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
occured
and consider the number of steps to Correct your spelling
occurs
decreaseit
.Correct your spelling
decrease
decrease it
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grammar
Work on refining grammar and sentence structure, as there are some errors and awkward phrases that affect readability. For example, 'It's not only have a bad impact' should be 'It not only has a bad impact.'
introduction conclusion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearer in presenting your stance and summarizing the main points respectively. For instance, 'I agree with the given to a great extent' can be more effectively phrased as 'I strongly agree with the statement.'
cohesion
Improve coherence by connecting ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader. For example, 'Firstly, the governments' can be better linked with the latter part through phrases such as 'In addition,' or 'Moreover.'
task response
The essay addresses the topic and makes a clear attempt to respond to the task by providing reasons and examples.
examples
The main points are relevant and adequately supported by examples, like the example of cannabis legalization in the Netherlands.
logical structure
There is a logical progression of ideas, and the argument is generally easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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