In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household takes equally (eg. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is clear that
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in modern societies both
men
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ad
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
have to
work
Use synonyms
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
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nowadays.
Hence
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, the majority of
people
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claim that
men
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and woman should
divid
Correct your spelling
divide
divided
their duties ,
such
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as cleaning , looking after children and cooking. I agree with
this
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issue and I will explain my own opinion in
further
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paragraphs.
To begin
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with , it is undeniable that some
people
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are forced to
work
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full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
for living
Change preposition
to live
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in advanced countries. Since the costs of
home
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the home
a home
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is
Change the verb form
are
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high.
Hence
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, they must
work
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together.
On the other hand
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, their energies come down. So , they can not do household on their own and they should do their tasks equally. In fact , there is no
different
Replace the word
difference
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between
men
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and women ,
although
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woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
sensitive more than
men
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.
However
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, they must help together in their lives.
For instance
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,
people
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should cook and clean their houses after
work
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and take after their children.
In other words
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, family members should give a hand in difficulties.
For example
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, in ups and downs. In my opinion , by doing household , couples can spend their
time
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together and enjoy . Because they try for their lives and it causes more love between them.
Furthermore
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, their children are watching parent's cooperation and learn.
Thus
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,
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
can use
this
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occasion in a positive direction.
Also
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, they can
work
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full
time
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, but
haveing
Verb problem
have
show examples
not boring emotion.
Therefore
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, they invest their money for their future.
As a consequence
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, they are
happiness
Replace the word
happy
show examples
as well as
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rich and they have a
convenience
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convenient
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life.
To sum up
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, almost most
people
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have been working full
time
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in many countries .
However
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, they share their duties in the house for more convenience. On the ground that both
men
Use synonyms
and women are tired .
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on

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task achievement
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and provided a clear position on the topic, which demonstrates understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument and provides a sense of completeness to your response.
coherence cohesion
Your use of phrases like "for instance" and "in other words" helps to introduce examples and explanations, making your arguments more accessible.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dual incomes
  • distribution of household chores
  • evolving societal norms
  • gender roles
  • mutual respect
  • quality time
  • life satisfaction
  • cultural contexts
  • traditional beliefs
  • inefficiencies
  • discontent
  • open communication
  • negotiate chores
  • pragmatic approach
  • harmonious
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