IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

People believe that not all school children have the natural ability to learn a new language. This means is not right to force all school children to study a foreign language. Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #school #children #ability #language #right #force #study
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Learning a new language is not everyone’s
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
. Many people suggest that forcing students is wrong, against their natural learning ability, into learning a foreign native system. I strongly disagree with the above proposal and
further
Linking Words
 justify my views in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, children are certainly fluent in their mother tongue
however
Linking Words
, they are foreign words that can’t be learned from any source other than school.
In addition
Linking Words
, teachers can help the pupils who find these subjects difficult and increase their confidence in developing an understanding of specific vocabulary.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, even if it is scary for a child to support
such
Linking Words
 a matter, he can always find a mentor to help.
Linking Words
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
 a result, their quality can be developed among students over time. In conclusion, even if students don’t have the natural ability to learn an international dialect, it is right for schools to make some foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 compulsory, as it has many benefits
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 helps young people develop new and interesting skills
Submitted by emadheydarnia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay has a clear stance and provides some justification, but to improve, you should include more specific examples and elaborate on your arguments. This will help in making your points stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing more coherence within paragraphs. Try to ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one. This will make your arguments easier to follow for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present and provide a good frame for your essay.
task achievement
You present a clear argument and your stance is well-defined.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: