IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some individuals argue that governments should allocate more funding to railways rather than roads due to the former's higher capacity for transporting goods and passengers. discuss both views

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The debate about utilising public transport as
railway
Correct article usage
a railway

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 system or underground in a more efficient way
have
Change the verb form
has

The verb have does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 been around for decades.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 are actively supporting
an
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 idea of governments allocating more money towards trains rather than roads, the opponents argue the capacity for transporting goods and passengers
are
Change the verb form
is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 not a sufficient argument in order to redistribute the funds. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
essay
Add a comma
essay,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In this essay. Consider adding a comma.

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 we will discuss both views.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the fact that both cars and tracks produce a lot of CO2 is rather well-known.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 affects our planet in a negative way.
That is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 why environment-friendly reason remains to be the main advantage of investing in the development of railways, rather than the roads.
As a
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

result
Add a comma
result,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase As a result. Consider adding a comma.

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 allocating the budget towards efficient railways around the country will assist in solving some of
teh
Correct your spelling
the

If you don’t want teh to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

ecological matters.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, trains can contain more
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, than a car or even an average bus.
As a consequence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, more
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 can travel at the same time, which leads to improving issues like traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams

It seems that jam may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Offloading the roads will allow
public
Add an article
the public

The noun phrase public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 to spend less time commuting between work and home and to spend
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 time at work.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 can potentially improve the
economical
Replace the word
economic

The word economical doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 situation. Some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 though believe that cars are more convenient
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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 because
an
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals

It seems that individual may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do

It seems that the verb does does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 not have to adjust around schedules.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 means a person has more freedom, which can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect

The word effect doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 their well-being. Eventually, I believe the countries that are big enough for the railways nets, should use them as much as possible in order to tackle two of the main issues the society is facing nowadays.

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task achievement
While the introduction sets up the topic well, some points could benefit from clearer articulation and supporting examples. Ensure every main point is backed by relevant examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Some grammatical errors and typos, such as 'teh' instead of 'the' disrupt the flow. Proofreading for such mistakes before submission will help enhance readability.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, which is crucial for a 'discuss both views' type of task.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion, is well-done.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocate funding
  • transportation infrastructure
  • higher capacity
  • efficiency
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • environmentally friendly
  • last mile connectivity
  • flexibility and convenience
  • individual travel
  • rail routes
  • maintaining infrastructure
  • upgrading networks
  • daily commuting
  • perishable goods
  • economic growth
  • regional development
What to do next:
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