Some people think that the internet has brought people together while others think that people have become more isolated now.” Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

admittedly, the internet plays a significant role in our daily life from our work to our social relations.
While
some
people
contend that
such
a blessing has removed the distance between
people
, I firmly believe the opposite holds true.
according to
some
people
,
due to
its easy access, today’s cyberspace has brought us all together. Their justification is that once you have a device
such
as a
smart-phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
broadband, you can easily access the magical online world.
This
could mean that you can video call your loved ones almost anytime and anywhere.
Thus
, to some
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
the internet is a device for uniting
people
.
However
, I disagree with the aforementioned argument as
such
online connections are nothing more than hallucinations of bonding; a video call can never replace paying a visit to your loved ones. In the past, grandchildren used to visit their beloved grandparents in person and not just see them on their phone screens for 2 minutes.
Additionally
,
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the grounds that the
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
world of the internet is usually addictive, if anything, it has separated family members from one another. Consider a teenager sitting at the dinner table working with his
cell-phone
Correct your spelling
cell phone
show examples
; little chance will there be for him to mix with his family for he is busy checking the latest Instagram posts by strangers
Submitted by za.vasigh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Consider including a stronger conclusion that summarizes the key points of both arguments and clearly states your own opinion. This will make the essay feel more complete.
complete response
Provide a bit more balance by giving equal weight to both sides of the argument. Currently, the essay leans more towards the negative aspects of the internet, which might make it seem somewhat biased.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. While the general ideas are clear, they could be strengthened with more detailed examples.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure consistent use of formal language and avoid conversational tones. For example, instead of saying "little chance will there be for him," you could say "there will be little opportunity for him."
logical structure
The essay presents clear and logical arguments on both sides of the issue, showing a good understanding of the topic.
supported main points
The main points are supported with relevant explanations, making the essay coherent and easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: