Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Space
exploration offers us the chance to learn a great deal of
new things. Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
However
, as it costs lots of money, we need to decide the best way to spend our resources
. I would argue that there are more pressing problems
that need addressing but that there may be other ways for us to continue space
exploration.
There are a number of problems
which they are still affecting the world today. Despite incredible advancements in science and technology
there are still billions of people who struggle with health, education, food and water, shelter and security. Many people suggest that we do not have the Add a comma
technology,
resources
to resolve these problems
and therefore
should not waste billions of dollars for exploring space
.
On the other hand
, we can learn a lot with the exploration of space
. There is the possibility of discover
new materials and energy sources. Some scientists even suggest that we may be able to live on other planets or make contact with other life forms. Because the universe is so big, it does not make sense to only look at our planet.
One possibility of Change the verb form
discovering
continue
to explore the universe Change the verb form
continuing
while
improving the quality of life on earth
is through greater cooperation between countries. Capitalize word
Earth
For example
, a global space
agency could be started which it allows
Wrong verb form
allow
for
countries to share their Change preposition
apply
resources
. This
would enable countries to allocate money more effectively.
In conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
although
it seems a bad idea to spend money to explore space
instead
of to resolve global problems
, it would not be the best to stop exploring space
. One solution would be to better share our resources
in order to help everybodySubmitted by Writing8
on
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task response
Your essay provides a balanced argument and you have addressed both sides of the issue. However, there are areas where clarity and detail could be improved to make your argument stronger.
task response
Include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific programs or initiatives that have benefited from space exploration or explain more about how certain global issues could be resolved with alternative funding.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Some paragraphs feel a bit disjointed or not directly connected. Using transitional phrases can help improve cohesion. Additionally, refine the grammar and sentence structures to enhance readability.
task response
Work on the clarity of your main points. Sometimes, grammatical errors make it hard to understand what you are trying to say. For instance, "there are a number of problems which they are still affecting the world today" could be more clearly stated as "there are a number of problems that still affect the world today."
task response
Try to restate your introduction and main points more effectively in your conclusion. A strong conclusion ties together your arguments and reinforces your stance.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with a clear introduction, multiple body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This is essential for maintaining a logical flow.
task response
Your attempt to offer a balanced view of the topic is commendable. You have acknowledged the benefits of space exploration while also emphasizing the importance of addressing global issues.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.