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Band 4

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #society
More
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
, it has been said that individuals should get into
Correct article usage
a nupital
show examples
nupital
Correct your spelling
nuptial
capital
 knot early in
life
 like in their early or late
20's
Change noun form
20s
show examples
. I strongly support
this
 school of thought and would present valid points for the same in the following
paragraphas
Correct your spelling
paragraphs
.
Firstly
, early marriage gives ample
amoount
Correct your spelling
amount
 of time
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the couple to understand each other before planning to start a family as better understanding and judgement of each other would ultimately lead to
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
envrionment
Correct your spelling
environment
 for the children.
For instance
, one of my
cousin
Change to a plural noun
cousins
show examples
 got married at the age of 25 and they took 4 years before starting a family which helped them
in bringing
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 stable and loveable atmosphere for the
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
.
Thus
, marrying in
Correct article usage
the 20's
show examples
20's
Change noun form
20s
show examples
 is more fruitful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young couples and society as
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
show examples
.
Secondly
, young parents in their late
20's
Change noun form
20s
show examples
 or early
30's
Change noun form
30s
show examples
 can be better involved in their child's
life
due to
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 or no medical
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 which they may face in their
latter
Correct your spelling
later
show examples
life
. Activities like
excerise
Correct your spelling
exercise
, running,
playing
Correct word choice
and playing
show examples
 any sports
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
show examples
 parents to be on their toes to encourage their wards towards fitness and
this
 can only happen if the parents themselves are physically fit.
Therefore
, involving in martial bliss early in
life
 is advantageous for longer run. Concluding my thoughts, marriage is the most beautiful phase of
life
 and enjoying that in the initial years of adulthood will lead to more happier and
stable
Correct quantifier usage
more stable
show examples
life
 for people which will lead to
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 society
overall
.
Submitted by bindiya.gupta01 on

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task achievement
Avoid using informal phrases like 'nupital knot'. Use terms like 'marriage' or 'get married'.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread for minor grammatical errors such as 'More oftenly' which should be 'More often'.
task achievement
Provide a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points more effectively.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples.
task achievement
You clearly stated your position and supported it with two main points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is structured logically with clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and relevant.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fertility
  • Maternal health
  • Psychological stability
  • Social maturity
  • Economic benefits
  • Shared responsibilities
  • Ancestral customs
  • Cultural imperatives
  • Personal development
  • Career establishment
  • Societal norms
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Divorce rates
  • Life decisions
  • Subjective wellbeing
What to do next:
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