Spending money on the conservation of wild animals is a waste of resources. This money would be better spent on other more important things. do you agree?

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Some people believe that the government should be investing in wildlife
conservation
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,
while
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others say spending money in other areas more important would be a much better option.
This
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essay will discuss those views and will support the idea that investing in the
protection
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of
animals
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is as
importat
Correct your spelling
important
as spending
in
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on
show examples
other social needs. It is true that society needs to be supported in important areas
such
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as education, nutrition, and
health
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well-being. These aspects are part of the quality of life, and governments must guarantee them.
However
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, the
conservation
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of natural resources and wildlife is another important area that public
political
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politics
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must protect. Since investing in the
protection
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of the natural environment is thought in the future generation.
Also
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, each species brings
balance
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to the earth.
For example
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, the rhino, a big animal that lives in Africa, helps to fertilize the soil with its excrement, allowing new plants to grow to later become an essential feed for some species and at the same time keep the cycle life.
This
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example is proof that
animals
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have a big impact on the general well-being of the planet.
In addition
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, the
balance
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of the earth is synonymous
of
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with
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health
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and wild
animals
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are a big
pilar
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pillar
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in the
protection
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of the natural environment. If the government spends money on
conservation
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, at the same time is investing in the
health
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of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity. Wild
animals
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help to keep the rainforest fresh, and water clean, and spread seeds.
For example
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, bats are
animals
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that do not like a lot of people, but they spread seeds of native plants to distant places.
This
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is because those
animals
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fly long distances to feed
itself
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themselves
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through the day. That's why
conservation
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ensures the welfare of all. In conclusion,
although
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there are a lot of important areas in society
such
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as education and
health
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, the
conservation
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of wild
animals
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is
also
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one of those, because
the well - being
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well-being
show examples
is associated with the general
balance
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of the earth, and
this
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balance
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is keeping with the
protection
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of
animals
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that are
bein
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being
show examples
affected for the destruction of their habits.
Submitted by jennitobon16 on

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grammar
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct. There are minor errors such as 'being affected for' which should be 'being affected by'.
coherence
Enhance the clarity and readability of your essay by ensuring transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth. This will improve coherence further.
support
While the main points are well supported with examples, try to make the examples even more specific and relevant to the argument being discussed.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and clearly supports the side that believes in wildlife conservation.
support
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the role of rhinos and bats in ecological balance.
structure
Well-structured introduction and conclusion, making your argument clear right from the outset.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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