Spending money on the conservation of wild animals is a waste of resources. This money would be better spent on other more important things. do you agree?

Some people believe that the government should be investing in wildlife
conservation
,
while
others say spending money in other areas more important would be a much better option.
This
essay will discuss those views and will support the idea that investing in the
protection
of
animals
is as
importat
Correct your spelling
important
as spending
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
other social needs. It is true that society needs to be supported in important areas
such
as education, nutrition, and
health
well-being. These aspects are part of the quality of life, and governments must guarantee them.
However
, the
conservation
of natural resources and wildlife is another important area that public
political
Replace the word
politics
show examples
must protect. Since investing in the
protection
of the natural environment is thought in the future generation.
Also
, each species brings
balance
to the earth.
For example
, the rhino, a big animal that lives in Africa, helps to fertilize the soil with its excrement, allowing new plants to grow to later become an essential feed for some species and at the same time keep the cycle life.
This
example is proof that
animals
have a big impact on the general well-being of the planet.
In addition
, the
balance
of the earth is synonymous
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
health
and wild
animals
are a big
pilar
Correct your spelling
pillar
show examples
in the
protection
of the natural environment. If the government spends money on
conservation
, at the same time is investing in the
health
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity. Wild
animals
help to keep the rainforest fresh, and water clean, and spread seeds.
For example
, bats are
animals
that do not like a lot of people, but they spread seeds of native plants to distant places.
This
is because those
animals
fly long distances to feed
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
through the day. That's why
conservation
ensures the welfare of all. In conclusion,
although
there are a lot of important areas in society
such
as education and
health
, the
conservation
of wild
animals
is
also
one of those, because
the well - being
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
is associated with the general
balance
of the earth, and
this
balance
is keeping with the
protection
of
animals
that are
bein
Correct your spelling
being
show examples
affected for the destruction of their habits.
Submitted by jennitobon16 on

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grammar
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct. There are minor errors such as 'being affected for' which should be 'being affected by'.
coherence
Enhance the clarity and readability of your essay by ensuring transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth. This will improve coherence further.
support
While the main points are well supported with examples, try to make the examples even more specific and relevant to the argument being discussed.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and clearly supports the side that believes in wildlife conservation.
support
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the role of rhinos and bats in ecological balance.
structure
Well-structured introduction and conclusion, making your argument clear right from the outset.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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