Write about the following topic: There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words
It is widely accepted by many that
subjects
like physical education and cooking does
not help academically, Change the verb form
do
due to
which opinion
come Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
on
Change preposition
to
surface
suggesting Correct article usage
the surface
removal
of non-academic Correct article usage
the removal
subject
from the school syllabus. I believe all Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
have
important in different ways. it is true that they may not help academically but they have equal importance in the school syllabus. I will provide evidence suggesting the same with reasoning describing why it is believed Verb problem
are
this
way.
To begin
with, the rise of advancement in all aspects of society
, it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
creates a lot of pressure on student
to gain knowledge to help Fix the agreement mistake
students
society
grow more, with which it is easily understandable to think that non- academic
Correct your spelling
non-academic
subject
only weighs a student
down. Additionally
, to pursue
these Change the verb form
pursuing
non- academic
Correct your spelling
non-academic
subject
is not susceptible for everyone Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
due to
which student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
does
not wish to Correct subject-verb agreement
do
involve
in them. Wrong verb form
be involved
Furthermore
, subject
like cooking and physical education Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
also
does
not Correct subject-verb agreement
do
support
financially and Wrong verb form
supported
not
beneficiary Add a missing verb
are not
for
Change preposition
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
.
There are plenty of reasoning
that suggest Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
removal
of Correct article usage
the removal
sub-
Correct your spelling
sub-subjects
subjects
like sports and culinary but it is also
important to understand why they are in syllabus
. Add an article
the syllabus
Firstly
, it help
a Change the verb form
helps
student
build a
physical health that indirectly improves cognitive, alertness and perception leading to Remove the article
apply
support
Replace the word
supporting
student's
academic results. Correct article usage
the student's
Secondly
, these other subjects
helps
us understand the moral ethics, manners, Change the verb form
help
importance
of Correct word choice
and importance
society
and family without these society
could collapse. Moreover
, these subjects
helps
in Change the verb form
help
maintain
a healthy lifestyle.
In conclusion, Change the verb form
maintaining
the
academic Correct article usage
apply
subject
might hold more importance in today's world but Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
to understand
the Change the verb form
understanding
requirement
of Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
non
Correct word choice
apply
academic
is Fix the agreement mistake
academics
also
important. It
is Correct pronoun usage
There
also
a dire need to understand that earning more money is not important
Rephrase
as important
than
living Change preposition
as
the
life to the fullest. So, the removal of Correct article usage
apply
non- academic
Correct your spelling
non-academic
subject
might to less good than bad in the long run.Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
Submitted by nick
on
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grammar
There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings in the essay. Paying attention to subject-verb agreement, proper use of articles, and sentence structure will enhance the clarity and readability of your writing. Consider reviewing basic grammar rules or using grammar-check tools to identify and correct mistakes.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate transitions and linking words to create a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs. Phrases such as "Moreover," "However," and "For example" can help to connect ideas more coherently.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your arguments. This can help to illustrate your points more clearly and make your essay more persuasive. Referencing relevant experiences or general knowledge can make your positions more relatable and convincing.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing both sides of the issue and providing reasoning for why non-academic subjects should remain in the school syllabus.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer's stance, providing a clear end to the essay.