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Band 5

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

#rubbish #governments #amount
Surge
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The surge
A surge
show examples
 in domestic
waste
 has been widely discussed nowadays.
Exponential
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The exponential
show examples
 growth of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 puts overwhelming pressure on the recycling system,
therefore
, causing failure in successfully managing the
waste
. It seems there are two major reasons and two steps that
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
need to be taken in order to address fully the issue.
Firstly
, despite being
major
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a major
show examples
 component
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 achieving
eco-friendly
Correct article usage
an eco-friendly
show examples
 community, there are
lacking
Replace the word
lack
show examples
awareness
Change preposition
of awareness
show examples
 of wastefulness in contemporary society. Surely, we can recycle some of the
waste
,
however
, if human beings will not embrace the idea of
zero-
Correct article usage
a zero-waste
show examples
waste
 lifestyle, no improvements in applied technologies would help in reducing domestic
waste
.
Thus
, raising
awareness
 should be the number one priority in solving
this
 issue.
For instance
, the majority of households still throw away batteries that could be recycled and
also
, will cause environmental damage. The second reason is
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
 recycling technologies that are applied nowadays. Mostly, the rubbish is burned since the residents will not sort their garbage, resulting in
unavailability
Correct article usage
the unavailability
show examples
 of recycling the
waste
.
For example
, in many
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 there are no separate trash bins in order for people to start sorting out their
waste
. As I have written before,
awareness
 should be a high priority in order to successfully overcome
this
 issue. Spreading
awareness
 through mass media is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 method that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been proven
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
 time.
Subsequently
, reducing drastically domestic
waste
that is
 produced.
Last
 but not least, allocating more funds
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the recycling technologies that are used is the short-term solution that would be highly preferable for making fast changes. Ultimately, lack of
awareness
 and poor recycling system is the root of rising domestic
waste
, if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 applies solutions,
such
 as better funding and raising
awareness
, the
waste
 will be reduced significantly.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Grammar and Vocabulary
Try to proofread your essay to eliminate minor grammar and punctuation mistakes. Enhancing your vocabulary range will allow you to express ideas more precisely.
Task Achievement
Develop each argument a bit further and add more examples to support your points. This will enhance the comprehensiveness and relevance of your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between your paragraphs and ideas for better coherence. Using transitional phrases will make your writing more fluid.
Task Achievement
You have successfully addressed the task and provided a plausible explanation for the issue discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure with a discernible introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help illustrate your points effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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