Some people think the government should not spend on international aid because there are disadvantaged people in their countries, such as the unemployed and homeless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, some
countries
not only their industries but also
the economy are in a good situation, so they can help other countries
, but inhabitants do not have the same view because they believe that some people
who have Neither a job nor a home living in their country. I'm of the same opinion about this
view, for government incomes are from people
, so must spend for them, and a country without poverty has less crime.
On the one hand, government incomes are earning taxes from citizens, and inhabitants work hard for
evolve their Change preposition
to
countries
; as a result
, they believe that this
money must spend
on the positions that improve the aspect of the country like creating occupations, and helping the natives who do not have cabin Wrong verb form
be spent
instead
help poor countries
which people
are not hard-working because these countries
must change their ways; moreover
, governments and people
have to help each other for developing like rich countries
.
On the other hand
, when authorities spend money for increasing firms, then
most of the people
have work and can buy a house. Hence
, not only does the rate of offence reduce but also
the government's economy is getting better. For instance
, China get funds to
new businesses. Later, the economy Change preposition
for
is rising
, and Wrong verb form
rose
the
crimes Correct article usage
apply
are falling
. Wrong verb form
fell
In addition
, China do
not help other Change the verb form
does
countries
due to
the fact that Chinese
are more important than the global inhabitants.
Correct article usage
the Chinese
To conclude
, with the reasons mentioned above, in my opinion, when The governments improve natives
living have more benefits than helping Change noun form
natives'
countries
that do not do any work for us.Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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task achievement
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical transitions between your points. Use linking words and phrases to create a smoother flow of ideas throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the overall argument well.
task achievement
You have presented relevant arguments for why governments should prioritize spending on their own citizens rather than on international aid.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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