The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Some individuals are of
opinion
that the Correct article usage
the opinion
internet
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
people
to bridge
the gap between Change preposition
in bridging
people
, regardless of place
we are living in, Add an article
the place
while
some people
believe it prevent
Change the verb form
prevents
people
to have
social Change preposition
from having
communications
. From my standpoint, Fix the agreement mistake
communication
i
wholly believe that Change the capitalization
I
internet
is beneficialCorrect article usage
the internet
,
since it Remove the comma
apply
help
Change the verb form
helps
users
to
Verb problem
apply
broden
their Correct your spelling
broaden
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
and
. Correct word choice
apply
This
essay will expound upon this
by giving compelling reasons and practical examples.
Firstly
, most benefits gained
from widening one's horizon. Specifically, over the past few years, the development of technology has grown unstoppably, so Add a missing verb
are gained
internet
helps Correct article usage
the internet
users
meet various friends as well as
learn how to excel in communication and negotiation. As a result
, they could forge valuable relationships, along with
equip
essential skills to access lucrative career opportunities. Change the verb form
equipping
For instance
, English is the most significant language in recent years, so meeting friends from many different countries through online games or social media could support users
to learn language
more easily than previous time, meaning that they could comfortably look for a job.
Correct article usage
the language
On the other hand
, this
issue still appear
some reservations that it is indeed detrimental. One of the reasons why Change the verb form
appears
people
think on
that way is using Change preposition
apply
internet
will Add an article
the internet
occur
Verb problem
make
the
less Correct article usage
apply
people
socialise with others, and this
can lead to the
less durable Correct article usage
apply
rapports
with their acquaintances. Fix the agreement mistake
rapport
However
, for people
who are not outgoing and talkative, internet
is one of the best solutions to deal with Add an article
the internet
this
problem, as the more conversations they talk
, the more their confidence. Verb problem
have
Thus
, it helps people
to bridge the gap between them and their relative
through communication Fix the agreement mistake
relatives
skill
they have learned and Fix the agreement mistake
skills
could
never afraid of having too few friends. in the case of autistic Verb problem
are
people
who are anti-social, they may improve their talking ability through communicated
apps Replace the word
communication
such
as omegles
.
In conclusion, Change the capitalization
Omegles
i
totally agree that Change the capitalization
I
people
should build connections through Correct article usage
the internet
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
,
since Remove the comma
apply
users
can access lucrative career opportunities; furthermore
it is beneficial to Add a comma
furthermore,
users
to be more confident and bridge the gap between people
, regardless of some reservation
Fix the agreement mistake
reservations
due to
many methods could
solve that mentioned problem.Correct pronoun usage
that could
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task achievement
The introduction is clear but the thesis statement could be more precise. Instead of saying you 'wholly believe' in the benefits, outline clearly what your main points will be.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, but try to ensure each paragraph has a single clear focus. The first body paragraph introduces the internet’s benefits but would be stronger if it stayed more focused and concise.
grammar
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Be sure to proofread your work and possibly seek assistance in grammar correction to make sentences more fluid.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear progression and logical flow which makes it easy to follow your arguments.
task achievement
You successfully used examples from real life to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively encapsulates your main points and reaffirms your position.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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