Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

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Recently, many Developing Countries
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
receiving financial
support
Use synonyms
from Western Nations
due to
Linking Words
poverty problems or war issues.
However
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some voices claim that it is a moral responsibility and
this
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support
Use synonyms
must keep running, I believe that it did not solve
this
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dilemma, and we should consider other solutions.
To begin
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with, the reasons behind
this
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failure,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are mismanagement, corruption, and lack of knowledge.
For example
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, in Egypt, the military
regem
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regimen
receives numerous
aids
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aid
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from America on
monthly
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a monthly
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basis,
nevertheless
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, Egyptians
sill
Correct your spelling
still
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suffer from
unemployemnt
Correct your spelling
unemployment
and inflation,
therefore
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, the vast majority keep asking where
this
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fund goes.
In addition
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, the authorities are relying
heavely
Correct your spelling
heavily
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outside
support
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instead
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of developing their own resources,
hence
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, if
this
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aid stops anytime, it will lead to
davastating consequenses
Correct your spelling
devastating consequences
on
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for
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the local economy and citizens.
For instance
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, in Tunisia, the government gets more
support
Use synonyms
to ban illegal immigration to Europe,
although
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the boats of migrants are still flooding.
On the other hand
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, if
this
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fund is
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
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countries
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countries'
country's
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supervision, it will make a real difference in
the
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apply
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reality.
For instance
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, they can invest in education systems and healthcare services, or
building
Wrong verb form
build
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productive factories,
therefore
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, they will solve
unemployement
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unemployment
issues,
addiotionally
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additionally
,
helding
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holding
authorities
under
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apply
show examples
accountable can force them to follow the beneficial ways to enhance the local economy with
these considerable amount
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this considerable amount
these considerable amounts
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of cash
instead
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of taking it as a bribe.
For example
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, in most developing countries, governments spend their limited resources of money including
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
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in
army
Add an article
the army
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just to
keep
Verb problem
stay
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in power.
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
show examples
,
this
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trend has created more drawbacks in terms of making these nations more dependent and ignoring any opportunity to solve poverty issues.
Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on

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General
Revise grammar and spelling errors to improve readability. Consider using tools like Grammarly or seeking feedback from proficient English speakers.
Coherence and Cohesion
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Task Achievement
Further develop some points with more detailed examples and explanations. Ensure all aspects of the task prompt are thoroughly addressed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use varied sentence structures to enhance readability and avoid repetition of words or phrases.
Task Achievement
Clarify the main argument in the introduction and ensure it is consistently developed throughout the essay. Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main points more effectively.
General
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and attempts to provide reasons and examples to support the argument.
Task Achievement
Relevant examples are included to demonstrate points, showing understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a discernible effort to structure the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial aid
  • development aid
  • sustainable development
  • economic growth
  • vocational training
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure development
  • trade and investment
  • healthcare initiatives
  • technological transfers
  • corruption and governance
  • effective utilization
  • long-term solutions
  • economic disparity
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