Some people claim that governments should take action to ensure that people have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, disagree and believe that people should decide for themselves which way they prefer to live their lives. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
How to uplift the lives of citizens is always a
concering
issue for every Correct your spelling
concerning
concern
governments
all over the world. And Change to a singular noun
government
this
author opines that it is essential for the government to take action to make sure that everyone all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
lead
to Change the verb form
leads
healthy
lifestyle.
It is important to Add an article
a healthy
aware
that if every Add a missing verb
be aware
residents
Change to a singular noun
resident
have
a healthy lifestyle, Correct subject-verb agreement
has
governments
will reduce a
heavy burden on Correct article usage
the
nation’s
Correct article usage
the nation’s
healthy
system. Replace the word
health
Due to
the fact that every year, millions
Add the preposition
millions of
people
in the world suffer from various healthy
issues because of their unhealthy Replace the word
health
life
and countries’ Fix the agreement mistake
lives
regulation
spend a lot of money on the treatment of Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
people
who are already ill. As a result
, governments
will squander lots of money for healthy system communication and miss the source of human
to develop countries. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Thus
, authority
should encourage Add an article
the authority
people
to have a good way of living.
However
, a minority of people
argue that civils should decide for themselves which way of life they prefer to lead. They assume that governing
system shouldn’t interfere with their manners of living and which way they treat Correct article usage
the governing
to
their body. Change preposition
apply
For
this
reason, they want to promote their freedom without Correct article usage
the governments’
governments’
management. Change noun form
government’s
This
point may be true, but heighten
Wrong verb form
heightening
people’
awareness about improving Change noun form
people’s
healthy
is the mission of every statement and responsibility of society.
Replace the word
health
This
author believes that domination should persuade people
to lead an active lifestyle to develop country
. Because of Correct article usage
a country
this
, with a country
which
Change preposition
in which
have
every Change the verb form
has
people
is healthy, governments
can utilizing
radically Change the verb form
utilize
be utilizing
the
human resources to enrich Correct article usage
apply
country
. Add an article
the country
As a consequence
, this
country
will dramatically develop and government
will have more money to invest in other aspects.
Enriching Add an article
the government
country
is always Correct article usage
a country
accompany
Wrong verb form
accompanied
with uplift
the lives of residents, and governing systems should Change preposition
by uplifting
responsible
for Add a missing verb
be responsible
this
mission and
all Correct word choice
apply
people
should understand the importance of healthy
life manner. Correct article usage
a healthy
Therefore
, everyone should do more exercise and improve their heathy
for the benefit of Correct your spelling
health
social
public.Add an article
the social
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coherence cohesion
Ensure there's a clear and structured progression of ideas throughout your essay. Your points should flow seamlessly from one to another.
task achievement
While you've made a good attempt, aim to support each point with relevant and specific examples to make your argument more compelling. Examples help illustrate your points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence construction and grammar for clarity. This will enhance your overall readability and coherence.
task achievement
Try to be more concise and direct in your explanations. Avoid unnecessary repetition or wordiness.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your arguments well.
task achievement
You have addressed both views effectively and provided an opinion, giving a well-rounded response to the prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.