The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom , Sweden, Italy, and Portugal between 1967 and 2007

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom , Sweden, Italy, and Portugal between 1967 and 2007
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There are two views about people's financial conditions. One of them is acceptance of a bad situation like dissatisfaction in their job or lack of money. Another is trying to change bad situations, so improve themselves.
This
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essay claims that making useful efforts to change an unfair economic situation is better than having a steady status. The details will be explained in the following paragraphs. On one hand, a hardworking
person
Use synonyms
is more successful than a conservative
person
Use synonyms
who is afraid of change. A
person
Use synonyms
should not create a static lifestyle for themselves,
thus
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, they must be dynamic in all aspects of life. A point of aspects is about occupation and money. An important component of working is to make a positive effort to improve their work position,
consequently
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, increasing self-confidence. The other is earning enough money to, supply their personal needs.
For example
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, in 2020, it was reported in " Strivers Always Win" that 70
percent
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per cent
show examples
of workers who have the power to take risks are always successful,
as a result
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, they have their desired vocation and income.
On the other hand
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, satisfaction
that is
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not rational does not make a
person
Use synonyms
progress.
Furthermore
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, it makes a meek life that, the lack is felt everywhere.
That is
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why, less trying leads people's personality to be passive.
For instance
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, about 95
percent
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per cent
show examples
of people who do not try for a promotion, will always remain in the same state as they were throughout their lifetime. In conclusion,
this
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essay reports that changing a constant employment condition is the best choice to progress in life
instead
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of admission to an undesired position.
Submitted by pouya_mokhtarpour on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words person with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "improve" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon dioxide emissions
  • per person
  • United Kingdom
  • Sweden
  • Italy
  • Portugal
  • graph
  • compare
  • average
  • increase
  • decrease
  • trend
  • peak
  • decline
  • years
  • period
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