The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom , Sweden, Italy, and Portugal between 1967 and 2007
There are two views about people's financial conditions. One of them is acceptance of a bad situation like dissatisfaction in their job or lack of money. Another is trying to change bad situations, so improve themselves.
This
essay claims that making useful efforts to change an unfair economic situation is better than having a steady status. The details will be explained in the following paragraphs.
On one hand, a hardworking person
is more successful than a conservative person
who is afraid of change. A person
should not create a static lifestyle for themselves, thus
, they must be dynamic in all aspects of life. A point of aspects is about occupation and money. An important component of working is to make a positive effort to improve their work position, consequently
, increasing self-confidence. The other is earning enough money to, supply their personal needs. For example
, in 2020, it was reported in " Strivers Always Win" that 70 percent
of workers who have the power to take risks are always successful, Change the spelling
per cent
as a result
, they have their desired vocation and income.
On the other hand
, satisfaction that is
not rational does not make a person
progress. Furthermore
, it makes a meek life that, the lack is felt everywhere. That is
why, less trying leads people's personality to be passive. For instance
, about 95 percent
of people who do not try for a promotion, will always remain in the same state as they were throughout their lifetime.
In conclusion, Change the spelling
per cent
this
essay reports that changing a constant employment condition is the best choice to progress in life instead
of admission to an undesired position.Submitted by pouya_mokhtarpour on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words person with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "improve" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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