Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, there is a significant rising popularity of social
media
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which has reduced attention spans. There are some reasons to blame digital
media
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platforms for
this
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phenomenon. Personally, I will support
this
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argument with several reasons outlined here. Perhaps, one major reason for
this
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.
Firstly
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, social
media
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is designed as entertainment to deplete our
time
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.
It
Correct pronoun usage
This
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is because there are many interest futures which can release a saturation point at any
time
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.
As a result
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, focusing on social
media
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can change the habit of spending
time
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together with
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friends to become an introverted person.
Secondly
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, platform digital can
give
Verb problem
have
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an
addicted
Replace the word
addictive
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effect. Where
this
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influence can aggravate their mental health, it is because many
people
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are
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
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and they change to be toxic to others
Therefore
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,
people
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should not play social
media
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excessively. Conservely, online
media
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is not completely responsible for shortening attention spans. Because digital platforms can be used for long-distance communication to connect friends and families.
For instance
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,
people
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who live far from their families still can interact by video call on
whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
, zoom, or
instagram
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Instagram
show examples
.
In addition
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, digital
media
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provides a lot of
information
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about daily life. If we compare
in
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apply
show examples
this
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era
than in
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to
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the past,
people
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like to share
information
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directly
while
Linking Words
societies today can get
information
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just by smartphones
such
Linking Words
as
google
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Google
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or
twitter
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Twitter
show examples
. In summary, it seems to me that
media
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social is worth implementing because of the positive impacts that
people
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can gain including communication and
information
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.
This
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is as long as they can control their
time
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and mental health in daily life.
Submitted by k a l l a on

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Work on improving the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph clearly communicates a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph logically follows from the one before. Use transition words for better flow and connection between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Although you have well-defined sections, try to improve support for your main points. Consistently provide examples and reinforce your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which structure the response well.
complete response
The essay touches on both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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