Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there is a significant rising popularity of social
media
which has reduced attention spans. There are some reasons to blame digital media
platforms for this
phenomenon. Personally, I will support this
argument with several reasons outlined here.
Perhaps, one major reason for this
. Firstly
, social media
is designed as entertainment to deplete our time
. It
is because there are many interest futures which can release a saturation point at any Correct pronoun usage
This
time
. As a result
, focusing on social media
can change the habit of spending time
together with
friends to become an introverted person. Secondly
, platform digital can give
an Verb problem
have
addicted
effect. Where Replace the word
addictive
this
influence can aggravate their mental health, it is because many people
are stress
and they change to be toxic to others
Wrong verb form
stressed
Therefore
, people
should not play social media
excessively.
Conservely, online media
is not completely responsible for shortening attention spans. Because digital platforms can be used for long-distance communication to connect friends and families. For instance
, people
who live far from their families still can interact by video call on whatsapp
, zoom, or Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
instagram
. Change the capitalization
Instagram
In addition
, digital media
provides a lot of information
about daily life. If we compare in
Change preposition
apply
this
era than in
the past, Change preposition
to
people
like to share information
directly while
societies today can get information
just by smartphones such
as google
or Capitalize word
Google
twitter
.
In summary, it seems to me that Capitalize word
Twitter
media
social is worth implementing because of the positive impacts that people
can gain including communication and information
. This
is as long as they can control their time
and mental health in daily life.Submitted by k a l l a on
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task achievement
In order to strengthen the task achievement, try to provide more relevant and specific examples or evidence to support your arguments.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph clearly communicates a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph logically follows from the one before. Use transition words for better flow and connection between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Although you have well-defined sections, try to improve support for your main points. Consistently provide examples and reinforce your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which structure the response well.
complete response
The essay touches on both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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