Being a celebrity –such as a famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

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It is commonly acknowledged that being a famous person has some benefits.

For example

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, sports stars

recieve

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receive

extremely high salaries and get benefits

such

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as having dinner with their president.

Otherwise

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, there are several demits to being a

celebritity

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celebrity

This

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essay will elaborate the both aspects before a conclusion is drawn. First of all, in terms of advantages, when

theny

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they

become top stars in

Correct article usage

the moive

show examples

moive

Correct your spelling

movie

industry, they will earn large money from the public and their entertainment companies.

In these

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These

show examples

days, they can get some money by wearing exclusive brand clothes

such

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as Dior, Chanel and Fendi. It makes the percentage of purchasing their items increase considerably.

This

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becasue

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because

when

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities show certain items to

public

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the public

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naturally, it makes the individuals

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apply

show examples

buy them which are influencers' belongings. The stars are invited to huge

festival

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festivals

show examples

such

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as Cahn

movie

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movies

show examples

, Grammy Awards and various fashion shows. They get pricey things

such

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iPhone

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iPhones

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, expensive bags,

super cars

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supercars

show examples

for free and just use

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

However

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, there are many disadvantages to being

well-known

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a well-known

show examples

face to the public. Once they become famous, they will be deprived

their

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of their

show examples

private daily life. A paparazzi always follows them and takes pictures every moment. They need to think of their conditions

such

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as what they are eating, having, and enjoying.

In addition

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, they consider

about

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apply

show examples

their friends and family. Their personal relationships will

reveal

Wrong verb form

be revealed

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to the world.

This

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mean

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means

show examples

they can not live privately. The news will publish

plent

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plenty

of information about their daily life. In conclusion, I think that the demerits outweigh the benefits. Being a popular person is one of the

buketlists

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bucket lists

for many people.

However

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, after that, they will stress out from

the

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apply

show examples

everything. Whatever they do, they might get negative comments from anti-fans.

Likewise

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, they should endure annoying situations

such

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as being gossip and so on. If someone

want

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wants

show examples

to a be famous star, she or he

need

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needs

show examples

to forgive a lot of

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts

show examples

of their

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

jeong9962Thu Jun 20 2024

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task response

Expand on your main points more comprehensively.

task response

Develop a stronger thesis statement to clearly convey your stand.

coherence cohesion

Work on paragraph transitions to improve the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Revise for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure.

task response

The essay addresses both the benefits and drawbacks of being a celebrity, which shows a balanced argument.

task response

You have provided relevant examples to support your points, like mentioning specific brands and events.

coherence cohesion

You included an introduction and a conclusion, which is important for the essay’s structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Being a celebrity –such as a famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Your opinion

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

Environmental pollution has become one of the most serious issues in today's world. What are the causes of environmental pollution? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

In some countries, the widespread use of the internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home or traveling to work or college. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Topic: Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

News editor decide what to to broadcast on television and what to print in newspaper. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we bacame used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?