IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays artificial intelligence is being used to drive cars Why is it happening? Is it a positive /negative development?

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These days vehicles are being driven by artificial intelligence.
This
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 is
due to
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advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
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 in technology which saves
time
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 and it should be seen as a negative development because it will increase
accidents
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. On the one hand, advancement in technology should be welcomed nowadays as it saves a lot of
time
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.
Further
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, artificial intelligence machines work faster than human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 and
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 are more accurate. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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example, nowadays there are machineries that cut grass or loans. They perform
this
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 task in
short
Correct article usage
a short
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 space of
time
Use synonyms
while
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 a human being takes a longer
time
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.
Furthermore
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, what a machine can do in an hour, a human being does the same thing in about five hours.
Thus
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, it should be noted that these machines are faster and do a perfect job as compared to people.
On the other hand
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, as much as it can be appreciated that technology is faster and perfect, many
accidents
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 are introduced in
this
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 process. The AI equipment is not
people friendly
Add a hyphen
people-friendly
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.
For instance
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, in a November Asian magazine, a child was left astray by her mother in a certain park, and it happened that an
artificial
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artificially
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 intelligent machine was cutting the loan in the park. Because
,
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apply
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 it is not sensitive to human beings, it literally hit that child by accident, and she had to be taken to hospital.
Thus
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, it should be noted that
accidents
Use synonyms
 will be encountered if we continue to use
this
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 equipment.
To conclude
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, nowadays artificial intelligence is indeed using vehicles
due to
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 the fact that it is fast and produces accurate and perfect work.
Conversely
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,
accidents
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 are seen as
this
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 equipment is not sensitive to people.

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task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the task and addresses both parts of the question (why AI is used to drive cars and whether it is a positive or negative development). However, the argument about the negative development (accidents) could be further substantiated with more specific examples related to AI in cars rather than general AI equipment.
task achievement
The ideas are quite clear and follow a logical progression; however, some points could be developed further. For instance, more detailed examples and explanations for why AI in driving could lead to accidents would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. The connection between paragraphs is generally smooth, but some transitions could be more explicit. Make sure each paragraph clearly supports the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the coherence by linking ideas and sentences more smoothly. Using linking words (such as 'however,' 'furthermore,' 'for example') appropriately can help make the essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that outlines the main points, which is essential for a good structure.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear and concise conclusion that sums up the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay does a good job of covering both parts of the task response, addressing why AI is used in driving and discussing both positive and negative aspects.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • autonomous vehicles
  • traffic management
  • route optimization
  • human error
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • convenience
  • elderly
  • disabled individuals
  • job displacement
  • logistics
  • transportation
  • implementation
  • maintenance
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