Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live luxurious lives, in contrast, academicians and scientists earn far less. Do you agree that academicians and scientist ought to be paid more?

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Modernized world the famous persons in the entertainment and sports field are getting
high
Correct word choice
higher

There may be an adjective issue here.

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profits than the
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people

It seems that peoples may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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those
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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who are working in
educational
Correct article usage
the educational

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and research industry
scientists
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I completely disagree
for
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

huge difference
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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benefits between both of them in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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celebrity any
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities

It seems that celebrity any may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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one
Correct your spelling
anyone

The word one doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in entertainment or sports
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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are only
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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entertain the public not to support their life or
country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, but academic
profession
Replace the word
professionals

The word profession doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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like
teacher is
Wrong verb form
teaching

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb teacher is. Consider changing it.

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a highly responsible for teaching
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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good
characters
Fix the agreement mistake
character

It seems that characters may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and studies to the prospective offspring.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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celebrity like a movie star has acted in a movie and
take
Wrong verb form
taken

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb take. Consider changing it.

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his profit
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

he
gone
Add the auxiliary verb
went
has gone

The past participle verb gone has been used without an auxiliary verb. Consider adding one or using the past simple instead.

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away. But
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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academic professionals like teachers are not like that, they have to work around 6 days
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a week and
spent
Wrong verb form
spend

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb spent. Consider changing it.

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lot
Change the article
a lot

It appears that the phrase lot does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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of time
to encourage
Change the verb form
encouraging

To encourage doesn’t seem to work here.

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their students.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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scientists
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are
pride
Add an article
the pride

The noun phrase pride seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of our nations. They are working in medicine and space research fields
for serving
Change preposition
to serve

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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Use synonyms
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they do not have fixed time for work every scientist must
be work
Change the verb form
be working

It appears that the form of the verb work does not work with be in this sentence.

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in
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a whole week.
In
Change preposition
For

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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example
Add an article
the example
an example

The noun phrase example seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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the
scientists
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

working in
medicine
Replace the word
the medical

The word medicine doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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field their life will be in
endanger
Change the verb form
endangering

The verb endanger may be in the wrong form after the preposition in. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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they sacrifice their whole
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for the
nations
Fix the agreement mistake
nation

It seems that nations may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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but
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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celebrities
not
Add a missing verb
do not

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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like that. They are working for their
self-benefit
Correct your spelling
own benefit

The word self-benefit doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
Eventually
Add a comma
Eventually,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Eventually. Consider adding a comma.

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in all
nations
Add a comma
nations,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Eventually in all nations. Consider adding a comma.

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celebrities are getting more
renumeration
Correct your spelling
remuneration

The word renumeration doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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than the highly educational and
scientists
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

my suggestion is every
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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government should take
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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corrective action to enhance the people who are really serving the
country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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task achievement
Work on refining your introduction to make your stance clearer and more concise from the beginning. This will help set the stage for the subsequent arguments in your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, and that you provide more specific examples to support your points. The examples should be more detailed and relevant to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between your paragraphs by using transitional phrases. This will help create a smoother reading experience and enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion needs to summarize your main points more clearly and assertively, aligning strongly with the arguments presented in the body of the essay.
task achievement
Your essay clearly presents the argument that there is an imbalance in the earnings between celebrities and academic professionals, which is a good starting point for your discussion.
task achievement
You have touched on various roles and responsibilities of academicians and scientists, emphasizing their importance in society. This shows an understanding of the topic's significance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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