IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You recently borrowed an item of clothing from a friend. While you had this item, it was damaged. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter you should: apologise for damaging the item of clothing explain how it became damaged say what you will do to fix the problem Write at least 150 words.

#item #friend #apologise
Dear beloved Sarah, Do you remember the white patterned
v-shaped
Capitalize word
V-shaped
show examples
 pullover that I borrowed from you
last
 month? I'm really sorry to tell
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
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 I spoiled a red strawberry juice
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
yesterday
while
 I was busy cooking
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dinner.
However
, I know how much
this
 piece of
clothes
Wrong verb form
clothing
show examples
 is valuable for you. Since you told me that it was a gift from your mom
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your 20th birthday. So, I promise to make it up to you as soon as we meet each other.
However
, I tried to
bought
Change the verb
buy
show examples
 you a brand new one but I couldn'
t
 find it anyway.
Nonetheless
, it was a gift so it won'
t
 be replaceable for you. The bad news is that I tried so hard to remove the stain but sadly I couldn'
t
. So, I
rebeat
Correct your spelling
repeat
 my
abology
Correct your spelling
apology
biology
 for you. But, don'
t
 worry I will try my best to find a professional laundry place that can return it to the way it was. Sorry again, Warm love, Aljuaid
Submitted by sarah.a.aljuaid on

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task achievement
You have provided a clear and complete response to the task by addressing all points. Ensure to proofread your writing for spelling and grammatical accuracy.
coherence and cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, you might want to break down the longer sentences into shorter, more concise ones. This will make your writing easier to read and understand.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is appropriate and kind, suited to the context of writing to a friend.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a logical structure, clearly laying out the apology, explanation, and solution.
greeting and closing
You have used a warm and friendly greeting and closing, which matches the informal nature of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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