People in former times used to be more dependent on one another, whereas nowadays they lead a more independent life. Do you agree or disagree?
In the past times
people
were
liked to live with Unnecessary verb
apply
another
Correct pronoun usage
one another
also
helped Correct word choice
and also
to
each other. Nowadays, Change preposition
apply
due to
the development of technology
and literature
most of them are willing to live a lonely life. Now, I fully agree with Add a comma
literature,
this
statement by giving the below mentioned
points.
Add a hyphen
below-mentioned
Firstly
, previous
times most of the Change preposition
in previous
people
have
not educated well Verb problem
were
also
most of them were stayed
in rural areas. So that, they were met with Change to the active voice
stayed
have stayed
another
adequately and Correct pronoun usage
one another
helping to
each other. Because, that time no any Wrong verb form
helped
technology
development people
are spending time with relatives, friends and their acquaintances. Most of
Change preposition
apply
houses
were located near to near in rural and Add an article
the houses
suburb
areas Replace the word
suburban
this
also
one of the main Add a missing verb
is also
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
to meet
Change preposition
of meeting
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
frequently to
each other.
Change preposition
with
Secondly
, at present the world is growing due the
development of Change preposition
to the
technology
. Most of the people
are well educated also
their thinking is entirely different to compare
with the past Change the verb form
compared
people
. Some of them are migrating in to
urban areas and staying in the Join the words
into
flat
and separate Fix the agreement mistake
flats
accommodation
. Fix the agreement mistake
accommodations
Furthermore
, the
communication has Correct article usage
apply
fostered
through mobile phones and Add a missing verb
been fostered
Correct article usage
the internet
internet
, Capitalize word
Internet
thus
most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
are spending lot
of time on it Change the article
a lot
that
they Correct word choice
apply
are perceiving
Wrong verb form
perceive
independent
life has given very comfort and give more delight.
Correct article usage
an independent
To sum up
, due to
the growth of technology
and education people
Change noun form
people's
attitude
and characters Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
has
changed Correct subject-verb agreement
have
also
depleting the helping mind to each other. All countries are entirely depend
on their public. Replace the word
dependent
Hence
people
should change the
Change the word
their
attitude
and cultivate their Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
mind
to helping each other Fix the agreement mistake
minds
that
will give a good Correct pronoun usage
which
beneficial
to the both country and Replace the word
benefit
public
.Correct article usage
the public
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction should briefly outline your main points and clearly state your position. Remove unnecessary filler to make your argument clearer.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and develops one main idea. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Use more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. This can make your points more convincing.
task achievement
Focus on expressing your ideas more clearly. Avoid ambiguous language and ensure that your arguments are easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
You provided a reasonable comparison between past and present times, which is relevant to the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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