Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
#communications #medicine #transport #systems #depend #computer #technology #reliance #fields #situation
There is no doubt that these days
technology
plays an important role in our life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
In numerous
aspects of our Change preposition
Numerous
life
, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
such
as transport, communications, medicine and education systems all depend on computer
technology
. Although certain
individuals believe that our reliance on Correct word choice
Certain
computer
technology
and intellegent
machines in these fields has created Correct your spelling
intelligent
dangerous
situation. Others, including myself, argue that there are a lot of positive sides Add an article
a dangerous
of
involving Change preposition
to
technology
in our life.
I think the major hazard that make
opponents afraid of depending on computers, because of security problems. Change the verb form
makes
For instance
, users
personal information being leaked on the internet and hacking attacks. These attacks may lead to losing backup Change noun form
users'
user's
data
that stored
in Add a missing verb
is stored
virtual
database on the internet.
Please make a separate paragraph from here.
Add an article
a virtual
the virtual
However
, all of these problems could be solved. Firstly
, the security and safety problems easy
to fix by installing defence systems on computers to prevent hackers from accessing crucial information. Add a missing verb
are easy
In addition
, there are number
of companies that provide cloud storage with multiple backup plans to easily restore Change the article
a number
the number
losed
Correct your spelling
lost
data
and provide available data
all the time. Moreover
, depending on computer
in dealing with big Fix the agreement mistake
computers
data
, millions number of data
,
Remove the comma
apply
is
faster and more accurate.
In conclusion. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
while
there valid
arguments on both sides the Add a missing verb
are valid
positaves outwight
the negatives of using Correct your spelling
positives outweigh
computer
technology
. Technology
is still developing and a lot of errors being
fixed over Add a missing verb
are being
years
. Correct article usage
the years
Therefore
, I strongly support using technology
and new innovations such
as,
artificial Remove the comma
apply
intellegence
to improve different fields and enhance our ways of living.Correct your spelling
intelligence
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task achievement
Your essay begins with a good introduction that presents the topic and your stance effectively. However, make sure to further develop your points with more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and provide clear transitions between points to improve the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Work on incorporating more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas. This will help achieve a more complete response to the question.
task achievement
Pay attention to minor spelling and grammatical errors in order to present a more polished essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is effective but consider rounding it out with a brief summary of your main points for a stronger end.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents your perspective effectively.
task achievement
You provide a balanced viewpoint by acknowledging the potential dangers of relying on computer technology and offering solutions to these problems.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, making it easy to follow your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.