In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for every fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, one of the most crucial topics is the transportation
system
because its appropriate development is required to guarantee the quality of life
in
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for
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humakind
Correct your spelling
humans
. Some governments have proposed that changes have to be
done
Verb problem
made
show examples
in order to enhance the systems
already
Correct pronoun usage
that already
show examples
exist.
Nevertheless
, many others argue that the entire
system
have
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has
show examples
to be rebuilt. I partially agree with both statements
,
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apply
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and in
this
essay, I will explain my reasons in detail. To start with, the evaluation of the transportation
system
should be performed individually, taking into account the specific characteristics
in
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of
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each city
as well as
the
requiriments
Correct your spelling
requirements
of the population.
Although
most systems have been criticized, there are many countries where
the
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apply
show examples
public transport has shown high performances with eco-friendly buses and trains
as well as
safety.
For instance
, the subway in New York is
well-know
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well-known
show examples
because of its untidy buildings and outdated trains.
Nonetheless
, every day, hundreds of people commute by train, arriving home
fast
Rephrase
quickly
show examples
and
safe
Change the word
safely
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.
Therefore
, its high
perfomances
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performances
performance
outweigh the downsides related to the
buldings
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buildings
.
Consequently
, The City Council has signed some agreements to improve the cleanliness.
On the other hand
, most developing countries have
a
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apply
show examples
no well-structured
system
of transportation.
As a consequence
of
this
, dwellers have to spend hours
by
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apply
show examples
commuting owing to the traffic, especially during
the
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apply
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rush time.
For instance
, despite having 'The Transmilenio' in Bogota, most people require more than an hour for commuting.
Besides
, there is
not
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no
show examples
security,
thus
, dozens of thefts are
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
daily.
Therefore
, the government have spent millions of dollars on designing a new
system
given by a subway. Currently, many contracts
were
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have been
show examples
signed with China in order to start the construction in 2026.
To sum up
, the individual features of the cities and the public
transporte
Correct your spelling
transport
have to be carefully evaluated in order to establish if the
system
needs few
improments
Correct your spelling
improvements
or requires to be re-built.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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introduction
Your introduction sets the context well but could be clearer in stating your opinion. Consider explicitly stating that you believe both approaches have merit depending on the city's specific needs.
logical structure
While the essay's structure is logical, the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Use linking words or phrases to better connect your ideas (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' 'On the contrary').
grammar
Some minor grammatical errors and typos are present (e.g., 'requiriments' should be 'requirements,' 'perfomances' should be 'performances,' 'The' should not be capitalized in 'The City Council'). Proofreading your work before submission can help catch these errors.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your main points are relevant but could be more clearly stated. When discussing the need for new systems or improvements, explicitly mention specific benefits and drawbacks to add depth to your argument.
relevant specific examples
Consider adding more specific examples or data to emphasize your points about the efficiency and necessity of public transport improvements or new systems.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, which helps reinforce your argument.
supported main points
You have used relevant examples to back up your points, such as the New York subway and the Transmilenio in Bogota.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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