In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for every fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, one of the most crucial topics is the transportation
system
because its appropriate development is required to guarantee the quality of life in
Change preposition
for
humakind
. Some governments have proposed that changes have to be Correct your spelling
humans
done
in order to enhance the systems Verb problem
made
already
exist. Correct pronoun usage
that already
Nevertheless
, many others argue that the entire system
have
to be rebuilt. I partially agree with both statementsChange the verb form
has
,
and in Remove the comma
apply
this
essay, I will explain my reasons in detail.
To start with, the evaluation of the transportation system
should be performed individually, taking into account the specific characteristics in
each city Change preposition
of
as well as
the requiriments
of the population. Correct your spelling
requirements
Although
most systems have been criticized, there are many countries where the
public transport has shown high performances with eco-friendly buses and trains Correct article usage
apply
as well as
safety. For instance
, the subway in New York is well-know
because of its untidy buildings and outdated trains. Correct your spelling
well-known
Nonetheless
, every day, hundreds of people commute by train, arriving home fast
and Rephrase
quickly
safe
. Change the word
safely
Therefore
, its high perfomances
outweigh the downsides related to the Correct your spelling
performances
performance
buldings
. Correct your spelling
buildings
Consequently
, The City Council has signed some agreements to improve the cleanliness.
On the other hand
, most developing countries have a
no well-structured Correct article usage
apply
system
of transportation. As a consequence
of this
, dwellers have to spend hours by
commuting owing to the traffic, especially during Change preposition
apply
the
rush time. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, despite having 'The Transmilenio' in Bogota, most people require more than an hour for commuting. Besides
, there is not
security, Correct your spelling
no
thus
, dozens of thefts are commited
daily. Correct your spelling
committed
Therefore
, the government have spent millions of dollars on designing a new system
given by a subway. Currently, many contracts were
signed with China in order to start the construction in 2026.
Wrong verb form
have been
To sum up
, the individual features of the cities and the public transporte
have to be carefully evaluated in order to establish if the Correct your spelling
transport
system
needs few improments
or requires to be re-built.Correct your spelling
improvements
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introduction
Your introduction sets the context well but could be clearer in stating your opinion. Consider explicitly stating that you believe both approaches have merit depending on the city's specific needs.
logical structure
While the essay's structure is logical, the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Use linking words or phrases to better connect your ideas (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' 'On the contrary').
grammar
Some minor grammatical errors and typos are present (e.g., 'requiriments' should be 'requirements,' 'perfomances' should be 'performances,' 'The' should not be capitalized in 'The City Council'). Proofreading your work before submission can help catch these errors.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your main points are relevant but could be more clearly stated. When discussing the need for new systems or improvements, explicitly mention specific benefits and drawbacks to add depth to your argument.
relevant specific examples
Consider adding more specific examples or data to emphasize your points about the efficiency and necessity of public transport improvements or new systems.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, which helps reinforce your argument.
supported main points
You have used relevant examples to back up your points, such as the New York subway and the Transmilenio in Bogota.