IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart provides key information about 2009 to 2013 displaying global
sales
Use synonyms
 of the top five mobile phone brands. The units are measured in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
Samsung
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
perfrom
Correct your spelling
perform
 all competing companies during the period.
In addition
Linking Words
, both the
Samsung
Use synonyms
 and Nokia have seen steady growth over the years,
whereas
Linking Words
 other startups have seen little change over the period.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Samsung
Use synonyms
 and Nokia during the period between 2009 and 2013, there was a significant difference in the
sales
Use synonyms
 rate.
While
Linking Words
 in 2011 both companies witnessed a steady change in their total
sales
Use synonyms
 ratio.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the graph shows that in 2013,
Samsung
Use synonyms
's phone
sales
Use synonyms
 rose to a legendary level.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 terms of Apple , LG and ZTE,they are considered as startups
also
Linking Words
 the bar chart shows that LG had the highest
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2009.
While
Linking Words
 ZTE company has not changed over the past years and has remained constant.
Finally
Linking Words
,Apple is considered to have achieved great results over the past years.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, samsung with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: