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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that teachers should be able to ask disruptive children to leave the class. Do you think it is the best way to deal with distruptive children in the classroom? What other solutions are there?

#people #teachers #children #class #distruptive #classroom
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Undoubtedly there are some
teachers
Use synonyms
 who have the habit of putting
children
Use synonyms
 out of the classroom if they are disruptive, but is it the better way ? What is the solution for
this
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 case
that is
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 too common to happen or how to mitigate it? The major problem is the fact about the social and emotional skills. The most of time
Children
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 do not process correctly why they have been leaving
from
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apply
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their classroom if they
have
Verb problem
are
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 under 5 years old, certainly can't understand what's is
happen
Wrong verb form
happening
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, only will do what the teacher asks and could become confused and suffer from bullying about it,
Linking Words
at
Change the preposition
in
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 the end, it may do
children
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 more nervous. In order to Solve it
teachers
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 need to be trained to develop their psychological skills and learn the correct way to conduct
children
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 that have more compartmental problems,
also
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, there are some researchers that say how much
this
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 attitude is poor for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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children
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's learning,
this
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 practice is forbidden to do in same countries. How
much
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more
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 educational workers use verbal violence, the more
probably are
Verb problem
likely
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 that the
children
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 will become violent adults and the governments need to do campaigns to show what
is
Verb problem
apply
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the correct attitude the professor wants . it is important for young people to learn that their actions have consequences and that in real life
have
Verb problem
there is
show examples
 a law called to action and reaction. In conclusion, to eliminate these problems completely will be an almost impossible task,
however
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, I believe that questions about emotional feelings or social behaviours need to be analysed by specialists, not by
teachers
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,
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 because
teachers
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 have
specifics
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specific
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 knowledge of
specifics
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specific
show examples
 subjects and
instead
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 of being helping
childrenchildren
Correct your spelling
children children
 with punish they may be creating more psychics problems in the future for society and one solution to mitigate it is The school need to have a multi-disciplinary crew and teacher only to forward the problem for specialists to solve correctly.
Submitted by lucianocamilot on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance readability and coherence. This will help in better conveying your ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Try to develop each main point more thoroughly. This includes explaining your reasoning and providing relevant details.
task achievement
The essay addresses multiple aspects of the problem and offers potential solutions, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to the overall structure of the essay.
task achievement
The essay touches on important issues like the social and emotional impact on children, which shows depth in your thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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