In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. While some people think that this is good for a country, others believe that salaries should be controlled by the government to limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is increasingly common for a minority of
people
to earn excessively high monthly
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
in different countries nowadays.
While
some argue that
this
can be beneficial for the
overall
national economy, others;
however
, disagree and believe that governments should apply limitations on earnings. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and explain the rationale behind my support for the former argument. On the one hand, those who suggest and support strict income limitation laws argue that
this
will help
mitigating
Wrong verb form
mitigate
show examples
the gap between social classes.
This
is because applying these rules should put society members in equal states.
This
sense of equality is claimed to alleviate
people
’s feelings of inferiority. To illustrate, a disadvantaged person living in a developing country mostly thinks that whoever gets an extremely high salary is superior and inapproachable.
As a result
, envy and despise will probably dominate and consume lower-income individuals.
On the other hand
, many argue that
people
deserve to be entitled to earn and make as much money as they can.
This
, in turn, will boost
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
economy gearing it towards prosperity and flourishment. As
people
will work harder and harder to shoot for the stars which will be reflected in almost every aspect of industry or governmental sectors.
For example
, if business owners were subjected to revenue restrictions in a specific country, they would not be as motivated nor productive as their counterparts in a capitalistic region. In conclusion, despite controlling the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of earnings might decrease the socio-economic gap among individuals, the drawbacks of
such
decision
Correct article usage
a decision
show examples
will be catastrophic for the public’s morale towards work,
thus
I wholeheartedly believe that we should allow
people
to compete and make their own fortune.
Submitted by besoyam on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider expanding on your examples and integrating more specific data or anecdotes to enhance your argument. Providing more concrete examples can strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the coherence and cohesion by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. This can be achieved through the use of transition words and phrases, which will help to better connect your ideas and maintain the reader's interest.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You present both viewpoints clearly and support your arguments with relevant ideas, showcasing your ability to discuss multiple perspectives.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reward hard work
  • innovation
  • ambitious career paths
  • advancements
  • technology and medicine
  • contribute significantly
  • public services
  • infrastructure development
  • stimulates
  • real estate to luxury goods
  • excessive earnings
  • social inequality
  • wealth gap
  • social unrest
  • society's harmony
  • equitable distribution of wealth
  • poverty rates
  • quality of life
  • salary caps
  • discourage talent
  • brain drain
  • hinder
  • growth and innovation
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