some people argue that to make healthy foods like fruits and vegetables more affordable, they should be subsidised by the government. Others believe that it is better to tax unhealthy foods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Subsidising of fruits and vegetables by
government
is Add an article
the government
propogated
by few as they are healthy Correct your spelling
propagated
foods
and others believe unhealthy should be taxed. In my opinion, there should be subsidy
on nutritious Fix the agreement mistake
subsidies
food
and tax
on junk Correct article usage
a tax
foods
, as implementing a single solution to the obesity
epidemic would not suffice.
In the recent past
there has been Add a comma
past,
dramatic
increase in physical health issues Add an article
a dramatic
such
as diabetes, hypertension and cardiac complication
. Fix the agreement mistake
complications
This
has been primarily attributed to unhealthy dietary habits resulting in > 30% of world
population Add an article
the world
being
either overweight or obese, as reported by Change the form of the verb
is
Correct article usage
the World
World
Health Organisation(WHO).
Considering the fact that fruits and vegetables are rich sources of micronutrients and essential minerals, which are important for adequate physiological functioning and Correct article usage
the World
longeviety
. Correct your spelling
longevity
This
is supported by multiple studies, which has
proven that having Correct subject-verb agreement
have
plant based
Add a hyphen
plant-based
food
in everyday life
increases longeviety
by restoring cholesterol levels, Correct your spelling
longevity
provinding
antioxidants, maintaining sugar levels, and Correct your spelling
providing
also
helps
in clearing toxins from Wrong verb form
helping
body
. A personal example is of my Add an article
the body
grand father
who regularly takes seasonal fruits and vegetables Correct your spelling
grandfather
has
lived till 90 years, Correct word choice
and has
where as
his counterparts who succumbed to eating oily Correct your spelling
whereas
food
and predominantly meat based
diet died earlier than him. Another point to consider here is the cost, the cost becomes a significant issue for Add a hyphen
meat-based
poor
who can not afford to include Correct article usage
the poor
this
lifestyle in their life
, which leads to malnutrition and hinders individual
Correct article usage
an individual
to reach
his or her highest potential. The government by providing Change preposition
from reaching
subsidy
may help these sections of society to ultimately provide equal opportunity for all to have a fulfilling Fix the agreement mistake
subsidies
life
.
On the other hand
, putting additional txation
on unhealthy Correct your spelling
taxation
food
such
as fried potatoes, pizza, burgers and other fast foods
may help in curbing the epidemic of obesity
. The cost of these eateries is so affordable that even the poor can afford and this
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
obesity
to be
present even in Wrong verb form
being
low
economic status population. Correct article usage
the low
This
is evedent
by the statistics of WHO, the data states that Correct your spelling
evident
obesity
is as prevalent in poor as it is in affluent sections of society. Hence
, putting tax
on these junk Add an article
a tax
foods
may help in reducing the
consumption. Correct article usage
apply
Nonetheless
, it is more complicated. As it
is the behaviour of people which needs Correct word choice
It
change
where they indulge in Fix the infinitive
to change
healthy
lifestyle not limited to restricting to healthy Correct article usage
a healthy
food
habits. People also
need to inculcate regular physical exercise, avoid smoking, avoid drinking and have good psychological well being
to have Add a hyphen
well-being
longeivity
and Correct your spelling
longevity
a
enriching Correct article usage
an
life
.
To summarise, subsidising healthy foods
along with
taxing on
fast Change preposition
apply
foods
may help to decrease the burden of diseases related to obesity
but it not
Add a missing verb
is not
neccessarily
sufficient. People need to adapt to a much healthier lifestyle and focus on Correct your spelling
necessarily
thier
Correct your spelling
their
well being
to bring in behavioural Add a hyphen
well-being
chane
to tackle the epidemic of Correct your spelling
change
chance
this
proportion.Submitted by shridharutagi.nimhans on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, distinct topic sentence to enhance the logical flow. For instance, the second paragraph could start by explicitly introducing the unhealthy dietary habits contributing to health issues.
task achievement
Make sure to check for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Editing for conciseness can make your essay more readable and impactful.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive discussion of both views and includes relevant examples, such as the personal anecdote about the grandparent’s diet and longevity, which strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion provide a clear, concise summary of the main points and the writer’s opinion. This adds clarity and structure to the essay.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the issue of obesity and dietary habits, supported by relevant statistics and data.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.