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Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distibuted

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distibuted
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #show
Both
picture
Change to a plural noun
pictures
show examples
 show about police
budget
 state in a location
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Britain between 2017 and 2018. The table illustrates the
sources
 of
budget
Add an article
the budget
a budget
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are from
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
 government, local taxes, and other
sources
,
while
 the pie chart demonstrates the use of money in three aspects:
salaries
,
technology
, and building and transport.
Overall
, it can be seen that the main funding for police was from
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
 government and
salaries
 were the noticeable reason for spending the
budget
.
Depends
Wrong verb form
Depending
show examples
 on the
sources
, the amount of
budget
 in 2018 is higher than in 2017. The sum of it was 318.6m,
while
 a year before about 300m.
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 government
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest income in both of the years, at approximately 176m. Followed by local taxes and other
sources
 in the second and the third place.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, the income from other
sources
 was only
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of local
taxes
Fix the agreement mistake
tax
show examples
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
show examples
, at around 38m in all period. Based on the outcome, the consumption of
salaries
,
buiding
Correct your spelling
building
 and transport, and
technology
 was reported respectively from the highest to the lowest. In 1027, the
salaries
 spent about
a three fourth
Correct your spelling
three-fourths
show examples
 of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 whole,
while
 the building and transport
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 two times
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
technology
.
In contrast
, the
technology
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
almost jumped two times from before in 2018,
while
 the others remained.
Submitted by nirmalindah on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words budget, sources, salaries, technology, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • funding sources
  • government policies
  • economic conditions
  • community services
  • crime prevention
  • public safety
  • significant increase/decrease
  • distribution
  • assessment
  • reflection
  • allocation shifts
  • budget comparison
  • impact analysis
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