All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tracked?

#**all #world #societies #obesity #children #adults #**what #rise #**how

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it can't be plural.All over the world, societies are facing a growing

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affects both children and adults.** **What are the reasons for

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affects both children and adults.** **What are the reasons for

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Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on Fri Jun 21 2024

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task achievement

Expand on the reasons for the rise in obesity by incorporating more relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points. This will enhance the reader's understanding and add weight to your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Although the logical structure is good, a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points and reinforces your argument would improve coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Work on strengthening the introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should clearly outline the main points you will discuss, and your conclusion should effectively reiterate these points while providing a final opinion or recommendation.

task achievement

You have addressed the prompt by discussing the reasons for the rise in obesity and ways to track it. This demonstrates a solid understanding of the task requirements.

task achievement

Your ideas are mostly clear and comprehensive, which helps the reader follow your argument. This is a strong point in your essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

71 words

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**All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults.** **What are the reasons for this rise in obesity?** **How could it be tracked?**

Fully explain your ideas

The diagram details the process of making clothes from plastic bottles.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The users of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvatages?

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tracked?