some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news event. do you think advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantage?

#people #media #touch #news #event #technology

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Nowadays, social

media

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can play a crucial role in many aspects. some individuals are using social

media

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aware

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be aware

show examples

of many

people

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and new happening. in my opinion,

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show examples

strongly believe that

benefits

Correct article usage

the benefits

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greatly

outwigh

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the disadvantages.

Postively

Correct your spelling

Positively

, no one can dare to deny the importance of touching with other

people

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and

awaring

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awarding

important

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the important

an important

show examples

event

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events

show examples

by using social

media

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, like

instagram

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Instagram

show examples

thesedays

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These days

, there are a lot of pages on

instagram

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Instagram

show examples

which create many content to encourage a large number of

people

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to have a better

life

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beacuse

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because

,nowadays, many

people

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suffer from mental disorders, like depression.

that is

Linking Words

why, they do not have a

lot

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lot of

show examples

interest

to continue

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in continuing

show examples

their lives. so, these

trainings

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training

pieces of training

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can help them to relive from

this

Linking Words

isolation and find

best

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the best

show examples

way in their

life

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. there

for

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apply

show examples

they can find

new

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a new

show examples

way

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ways

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

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to make their

life

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much more

meaningfull

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meaningful

and

purposefull

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purposeful

purposefully

this

Linking Words

attitude can be answered for many

people

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. Negatively,

although

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many

people

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have a

gret

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great

tendency to

utlize

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utilise

social

media

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to know about other

people

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and different news, it can have

negative

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a negative

show examples

impact on your lifestyle. there are a

lot

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lot of

show examples

people

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Add an article

a blogger

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blogger

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bloggers

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or even

influncer

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influencers

social

media

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produse

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produce

many

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much

show examples

tricky

content

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contents

show examples

misleading

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mislead

show examples

their followers because, in

this

Linking Words

materialistic lifestyle, not many

people

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place a high value on morality.

that is

Linking Words

why, they try to show

Replace the word

off

show examples

their

life

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flashy.

therefore

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, they encourage individuals to do wrong

action

Fix the agreement mistake

actions

show examples

to have

luxurious

Add an article

a luxurious

show examples

life

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this

Linking Words

strategy can cause many problems in their lives. In conclusion, by weghining

the

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apply

show examples

both sides of

argument

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the argument

an argument

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

should say,

Linking Words

although

Correct word choice

that although

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many

people

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Wrong verb form

are

show examples

accustomed to

use

Change the verb form

using

show examples

social

media

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to know about other

people

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and different

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

this

Linking Words

style can help them to find a suitable way to have

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

life

Use synonyms

Submitted by salehmiri1995 on Fri Jun 21 2024

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introduction conclusion

Your essay does a good job of introducing the topic and providing a conclusion. However, the introduction could be more compelling to better catch the reader's attention. Try to avoid starting with general statements and get to your thesis more quickly.

logical structure

Ensure that the paragraphs are clearly divided. Use linking words and phrases (e.g., 'moreover', 'on the other hand') effectively to show the relationships between ideas and to improve the logical flow. Consider revising some parts to make the structure clearer.

complete response

The arguments you have presented are valid, but they need more development. Use specific examples and elaborate on them to support your points more effectively. This will make your essay more convincing.

clear comprehensive ideas

There are several grammatical errors and typos in your essay (e.g., 'benefits greatly outwigh', 'beacuse', 'relive'). Try to proofread your essay carefully or use tools to help spot and correct these mistakes. Proper grammar enhances understanding and makes your essay more professional.

relevant specific examples

Your essay would benefit from more detailed and relevant examples. Specific details can greatly improve your argumentation. Try to include concrete examples that enhance and clarify your points.

complete response

Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of social media, which is good for a balanced argument.

introduction conclusion

You have included a conclusion that successfully summarizes your main points.

task adherence

Your essay stays on topic throughout and responds to the question prompt well.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

real-time updates
global connectivity
professional networking
fake news
misinformation
social media addiction
mental health issues
privacy concerns
personal information
viral content

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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