Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

#people #work #company #organization #be #case #self

These days, it is said that being an entrepreneur is the most popular option than working for a

business

organization.

This

essay will discuss some possible reasons

as well as

disadvantages of

this

issue. Perhaps, one major factor for

this

is that working hours are flexible. As we know

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

office hours must be spent

Change preposition

apply

show examples

eight hours per day and they must attend a minimum of 5 days

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a week.

Therefore

, many people feel that these times disturb their personal time.

For instance

, when

labors

Replace the word

labourers

show examples

have a celebration in their family like a wedding or funeral ceremony, it can be difficult for them to follow the custom of the ceremony.

In addition

, following passion and interest are other reasons. There are many people who are excellent in a field and they want to develop it as a

business

for them

such

as gamers, programmers,chefs and designers.

On the other hand

, the drawback of freelance workers is the high budget to build their own

business

. It is because they have to pay for all their expenses.

For example

, office rental cost, tax,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

basic

material

Fix the agreement mistake

materials

show examples

and electricity cost.

Therefore

, a self-worker must be able to manage their money and time effectively.

Furthermore

, mental development is another reason. It is because the fluctuation in

marketplace

Add an article

the marketplace

show examples

can cause

business

loss.

As a consequence

, many entrepreneurs suffer from mental health problems

such

as stress and depression when their

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

collapse In conclusion, from the analysis of these factors, the self-employed are chosen based on flexible times and their passion.

However

, spending a high budget and mental development are the shortcoming of

entrepreneur

Fix the agreement mistake

entrepreneurs

show examples

Submitted by k a l l a on Fri Jun 21 2024

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task response

Try to elaborate further on the disadvantages of being self-employed. Discuss aspects such as job security, lack of benefits, or work-life balance.

coherence cohesion

Ensure there's a logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. For example, linking the reason for flexible hours to the disadvantages through transitional phrases can enhance readability.

task response

The essay clearly states the main reasons people choose to be self-employed, such as flexible working hours and following their passion.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion that help frame the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens’ health rather than on protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

the best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?