Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people argue that whether we should put a great deal of effort to improve our conditions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or accept bad things and situations as they are.
This
Linking Words
topic is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
intense debate with both
attractiong
Correct your spelling
attracting
attraction
attractions
supports and critics.
This
Linking Words
essay aims to discuss both of the views, but argue in favour
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the first statement. On the one hand, those people who believe that our
life
Use synonyms
would be much easier if we
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
learn to let various things go and be happy with
watever
Correct your spelling
whatever
we have. They
also
Linking Words
say that we can not control every aspect of our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, even if we
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
to alter things we would get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
burnout which can be caused by a lot of pressure and work. With
burnout
Add a comma
burnout,
show examples
you can not properly enjoy your
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if we try to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the top of
career
Correct pronoun usage
our career
show examples
and reap
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
benefits that
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
with it in
this
Linking Words
competitive job market, we will have to work so hard even non-stop for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
a long length that it will hardly allow to enjoy your youth times and personal live too.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, supporters of improving our situation by trying hard say that our
life
Use synonyms
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
of struggling, suffering and battles. Individuals who give their best by doing hard are going the win the race. They keep arguing that people who try to change bad situations take the first step to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success, and become more motivated to second obstacles.
For example
Linking Words
,
well-known
Add an article
a well-known
show examples
footballer
whose
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
name
Wrong verb form
named
show examples
Cristiano Ronaldo and his family lived in poor conditions,
therefore
Linking Words
he could not accept it to
countinue
Correct your spelling
continue
their
life
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
way. In conclusion, I think that overcoming these types of
obsctacles
Correct your spelling
obstacles
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
the key to success and they motivate us to go
further
Linking Words
by not giving up. By turning
sutiation
Correct your spelling
situation
in our
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
, we can
chage
Correct your spelling
change
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
lifestyle totally.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language accuracy
Improve language accuracy to avoid grammar and spelling mistakes, such as 'a intense debate' (should be 'an intense debate'), 'wataver' (should be 'whatever'), and 'obsctacles' (should be 'obstacles').
idea development
Develop each point further with detailed examples and explanation to provide a clearer understanding of your ideas.
conclusion development
Provide a clearer conclusion that not only summarizes the main points discussed but also clearly states your own opinion in relation to those points.
coherence improvement
Work on smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.
balanced discussion
The essay addresses both views of the topic, providing a balanced discussion.
conclusion present
The conclusion attempts to summarize the main arguments and provides a final opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
Look at other essays: