IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Some people argue about the increasing number of self-employed workers, rather than applying to
company
Add an article
a company
show examples
 or an organisation. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will outline some possible reasons and drawbacks.
To begin
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 with, the main concern of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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working in companies and organisations is the pressure
form
Correct your spelling
from
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 the boss. Unfortunately, employees working in
community
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the community
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 are often exposed to furious bosses, who demand everything from their workers in a short period of
time
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, it could be
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
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 amount of documents which must be done in 2-3 days.
Therefore
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, staff spend their personal
time
Use synonyms
 to
fullfilling
Correct your spelling
fulfilling
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 required tasks.
Second
Add an article
The second
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 cause why everyone
are
Change the verb form
is
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 selecting to
work
Use synonyms
 for
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 is
time
Use synonyms
 flexibility.
By
Change preposition
With
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these
Change the determiner
this feature
these features
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feature
Add a comma
feature,
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 they can provide appropriate
time
Use synonyms
 for their personal lives namely,
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 and family.
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Although
Correct word choice
However
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, they can go
to
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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vacations
Fix the agreement mistake
vacation
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in
Change preposition
apply
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every
Correct determiner usage
any
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time
Use synonyms
 they want, not depending on
work
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. Rest is a key to success
as well as
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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hard
work
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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, self-employed works are more preferable in
todays'
Change noun form
today's
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 competitive job market.
However
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, being self-employed
also
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 comes with its challenges. One of the main drawbacks is the lack of job security.
THose
Correct your spelling
Those
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 individuals are responsible for all aspects of their field, from accounting
the
Change preposition
for the
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 market and serving customers. It could be
time
Use synonyms
consumind
Correct your spelling
consuming
 and physically demanding.
Additionally
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, there may be less opportunity
to
Change preposition
for
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futher
Correct your spelling
further
 career development because training courses that are only available to companies provide big chances for promotion. In conclusion, despite
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 drawbacks, the trend towards self-employment is likely to continue as technologies create more
opportumities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for independent
work
Use synonyms
. Governments can
aid
Verb problem
apply
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mitigate some of the risks and disadvantages by offering special healthcare and training programs.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly presents a single idea and use linking phrases to enhance flow, such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Moreover.'
language precision
Proofread for grammatical accuracy and punctuation. Pay attention to commonly confused words such as 'their' vs. 'there,' and 'then' vs. 'than.'
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points and elaborate on them to demonstrate a deeper understanding.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear and easy to follow with a logical order of points.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and suggests a forward-looking statement.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
What to do next:
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