It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?
Nowadays there is more choice for the consumers
then
ever in the past. Most small towns have a large supermarket and you can buy any product on the internet with just the click. Replace the word
than
This
might be good for consumners
but small local Correct your spelling
consumers
shops
are competition and they have to close, in my opinion
we need to protect small Add a comma
opinion,
shops
by closing.
Large supermarkets have many stores all over the country. Because of this
they are buying many Add a comma
this,
products
for very cheap. Because they sell many products
they can have very
small profit Add an article
a very
the very
of
margin on each item. Change preposition
apply
Also
many supermarkets have special offers and are very cheap. On, the other hand, small local Add a comma
Also,
shops
only have one shop and only sell little
items. Correct word choice
small
Due to
the small number they have to sell products
more expensive and don’t compete with the larger shops
.
If all local
Correct article usage
the local
shops
don’t compete then
they have to close. This
is very bad for local communities because there are only large supermarkets and larger shops
. This
means that all places are the same as everywhere else and also
you can get the same products
but not different local products
.
I think that people should support the small shops
and try and use them for shopping. But not only the people can help. Maybe the government can help the small shops
to stay open and have cheap rent or cheap tax for them.
In conclusion, I think that if local shops
close then
local communities are
not different or interesting. I think that all of us need to support local Verb problem
will
shops
and help them to survive.Submitted by jolo9419jmor on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
To improve task response, ensure that each point you make directly addresses the essay prompts. Here, discussing more specific solutions for how communities and the government can support local shops would strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should exhibit a logical flow of ideas. Consider outlining your essay before writing to streamline your thoughts and structure your arguments more effectively. Dividing your paragraphs clearly and maintaining a steady progression between them would help improve coherence and cohesion.
task response
Providing specific examples can significantly strengthen your arguments. Try including examples or case studies where support for small shops has benefited local communities.
introduction conclusion present
You have included both an introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your essay effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your writing demonstrates a clear concern for the impact of large supermarkets on local shops, which shows a good understanding of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.