When it comes to workplace, we normally think we have to go there to work. A lot of us commute work every day. However, there are some people who work remotely at their homes or away from their offices. What do you think is the reason why some companies permit their employees to work this way?

Some believe that people should
work
directly in the office but nowadays it
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
common
that
Correct word choice
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people can do a job at home. The reason why they can
work
remotely is the increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
effectiveness and reducing the cost of transportation.
To begin
with, it is commonly believed that the more comfortable ones feel, the more productive they are. The head office who allows the employee to
work
anywhere will give more pleasure to the
worker
because the servant
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not need to prepare a lot.
as
Change preposition
For
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, usually, The parents who
work
in
such
a company, in the morning
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should cook to their family, iron clothes to their children, so they will in a rush to go to the factory.
This
condition will
bring
Verb problem
cause them
show examples
to
unhappy
Add a missing verb
be unhappy
show examples
and
unenjoy
Correct your spelling
unenjoyed
to do more
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
but, when they can
work
at home, they do not need to rush.
Secondly
, working directly in
office
Add an article
the office
an office
show examples
can bring good results because the leader can supervise
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the whole day.
However
, allowing
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
to finish
the
Change the word
their
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
at home will reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
so the manager
do
Verb problem
is
show examples
not
require
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
to spend money to buy fuel
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
and
this
money can be allocated to other projects.
For instance
,
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
money can be utilized
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
Correct article usage
the holiday's
show examples
holiday's
Change noun form
holiday
show examples
company team so that the team can reduce their stress and come back with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
fresh brain.
To sum up
, it can be concluded that there are two reasons why companies can permit their servants. First and foremost is enhancing the productiveness of the
worker
and the second is to reduce the company's expenditure.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Clarify who you mean by 'head office' and 'servant' as these terms are uncommon in this context. Consider using 'employer' and 'employee' instead.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point is supported adequately. While you’ve introduced relevant examples, further elaboration and additional supporting details would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Add a bit more variety in sentence structure to improve readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the main points being discussed.
task achievement
The points about productivity and cost savings are relevant and effectively support the task response.
coherence cohesion
The use of examples, though needing more detail, shows an attempt to provide real-world context to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!