Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some would argue
Correct word choice
that nowdays
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nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
men and women
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can shop
easilly
Correct your spelling
easily
by using new
technology
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
do not agree with that. I believe with first group because
this
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improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
in
technology
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let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
us choose different shops and get
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
fastlly
Correct your spelling
quickly
. On the one hand, New
technology
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has bad
affects
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effects
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
our
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
economy
specific
Change the word
specifically
show examples
in trade,
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
local shops
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
buy to store rent and taxes and
other thing
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another thing
other things
show examples
, so these make their price higher than online stores.
As a result
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, individuals prefer to
order
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online to save their money, and
this
Linking Words
effects
Replace the word
affects
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their
country
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's economy
ncome
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income
.
For example
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, there is
survey
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a survey
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show
Wrong verb form
showing
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in
Change preposition
that
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the
Covid
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
19, many
people
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orderd
Correct your spelling
order
ordered
form
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from
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online , and many local businesses closed.
However
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, I believe that
people
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should have
their
Change the word
the
show examples
freedom to choose what they want and a government should take care of
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country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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economy.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
modern
technology
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improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
our shopping ways, and it makes
Use synonyms
order
Fix the agreement mistake
orders
show examples
easally
Correct your spelling
easy
and shipping fastly. because
people
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who live in small
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not have different shop stores, online stores give them different
opitions
Correct your spelling
options
opinions
.
For example
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, men and women can
order
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from Ali Baba
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Chianes
Correct your spelling
Chinese
app and they will get their
order
Use synonyms
in one week. I believe
this
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
helps
people
Use synonyms
to get what they want from different
countrys
Correct your spelling
countries
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
shopping
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
side
Add an article
a side
show examples
effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
income ,it does not mean we must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
buy from local shops.
this
Linking Words
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
helps us to have everything
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
shipped
fastly
Rephrase
quickly
show examples
.
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views on the topic, but some ideas are not fully developed. Consider expanding on your points with more detailed explanations.
task achievement
Ensure that you consistently use examples that are directly relevant and specific to your main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are unclear or awkwardly phrased, which affects the overall comprehensibility of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay better by clearly delimiting paragraphs with distinct main ideas. This will enhance the logical flow and structure of your text.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling. These small errors can accumulate and negatively impact the reader’s ability to understand your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in framing the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You have included examples to support your points, which shows an understanding of the need for evidence in argumentation.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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