In many large cities, people have to spend hours driving in heavy traffic every day. What are the effects of this on society and the individual? What can be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
number
of metro cities Change the article
a number
the number
people
communting
by using their vehicles, which Correct your spelling
communicate
waste
a Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
lots
of Correct the article-noun agreement
lot
time
and number of effects fell
on Verb problem
apply
people
's health such
as lungs
cancer and heart Change the noun form
lung
diseases
. With some developments Fix the agreement mistake
disease
this
issue can be shorted out like, provide
jobs Wrong verb form
providing
nearby
their residences and public Change preposition
near
transport
at cheap rates. At the end
of this
topic
I will give my personal experience which I mostly faced.
The main reason is a wastage of Add a comma
topic,
time
, while
drivers driving
in congested traffic and if they have jobs nearby they can utilise that Wrong verb form
drive
time
with other tasks. Another factor is that,
more motor cars Remove the comma
apply
produced
Wrong verb form
produce
pollution
such
as air pollution
and noise pollution
, which Wrong verb form
results
resulted
Add the preposition
resulted in
resulted from
people
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffering
with
Change preposition
from
disease
like lung cancer, breathing problems and heart diseases. It Change the noun form
diseases
further
put
extra financial pressure on the health system and Wrong verb form
puts
tax payers
. Correct your spelling
taxpayers
Furthermore
, some
Correct your spelling
sometimes
time
accidents happened
Wrong verb form
happen
due to
traffic and travellers died
, which Wrong verb form
die
some
Replace the word
sometimes
time
take
extra Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
time
to clear the roads. For example
, drivers who come from Rouse Hill and rural areas and they travel towards to
the city, in Change preposition
apply
the
office hours it takes hours and hours to reach their Correct article usage
apply
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
as a result
emmission
of carbon dioxide and dangerous gases.
These issues can be shorted out with some developments, Correct your spelling
emission
emissions
firstly
, the Government must provide better transport
system such
as train's
routes and bus network, so daily travellers can catch trains and buses and reach their destinations. Change noun form
train
Secondly
, the Authorities should setup
industries and stores Correct your spelling
set up
nearby
locals, so they can work locally and save Correct your spelling
near
time
and prevent atmosphere by avoiding of drive
cars. Wrong verb form
driving
In addition
, the Governance must rise
parking rates in cities, so individuals can Correct your spelling
raise
attract
towards Wrong verb form
be attracted
public
Correct article usage
the public
transport
system.
In my experience, residents of rural areas do not public
Add a missing verb
have public
tranport
facilities, so I have to use my own car to Correct your spelling
transport
tavel
Correct your spelling
travel
at
Change preposition
to
office
.
In conclusion, following the Add an article
the office
analysis
it is undeniable to use private wagons Add a comma
analysis,
due to
Correct article usage
the non-avaliablity
non-avaliablity
of public Correct your spelling
non-availability
transport
but provide
employment Wrong verb form
by providing
in
locally those workers can solve the issue and extra Change preposition
apply
time
they can give to their families or make extra money. Further
, it is predicted that in future people
will be aware about
Change the preposition
of
pollution
and will try to use public transport
syste
.Correct your spelling
systems
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task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the effects of heavy traffic on society and individuals and proposing solutions. However, it would benefit from a clearer structure and more detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by organizing your ideas more clearly. Consider using paragraphs for different points and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
language and style
Revise grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve clarity. Use a variety of sentence structures to make the essay more engaging.
task achievement
The writer demonstrates awareness of relevant issues related to heavy traffic and provides reasonable solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
task achievement
Personal experience is included, which adds a personal touch and relevance to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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