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Band 2.5

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some nations of the world. Today, however, growing global demand has turned this problem into a global one. What are the causes behind the increased demand and what steps can goverments and individuals take to address this problem?

#water #resource #nations #world #demand #steps #goverments #individuals #address
The increasing need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 fresh
water
 and its finite sources have recently turned into a global concern with governments and individuals debating on the reasons behind
this
 phenomenon and the potential solutions to
this
 matter. The growing demand
of
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for
show examples
water
 can be traced back to the increasing population and
consumptionarism
Correct your spelling
consumption rise
. Governments and individuals,
however
, can take different measures to control
this
 problem. Looking into the causes originating the ever-rising need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
water
, the increasing population worldwide can play a significant role since the more people live on the planet Earth, the more
water
 they are going to need in order to survive. The growing population,
also
, can bring about an excessive use of products that themselves need a lot of
water
 to be produced.
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task achievement
While the essay is effective in identifying population growth and consumerism as causes of water demand, it should provide more specific examples and details to support these points.
task achievement
Make sure to give a more detailed explanation of how consumerism affects water demand, including examples of water-intensive products.
coherence cohesion
Introduce a clear conclusion to summarize the points discussed and provide a final thought or opinion.
coherence cohesion
Separate the causes and solutions into distinct paragraphs to enhance the logical structure.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the issue and outlines the causes and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical flow and progression from introducing the issue to discussing the causes.
coherence cohesion
The language is clear and comprehensible, making the essay easy to read.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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